My Little Secret

Chapter 15

I got home after a long walk home with my thoughts; I should never be left alone with them, it never ends well. I tend to overthink things and embarrass myself later. But this time it was different. I was left alone with my new 'friend'.

It would not stop talking, on and on, about all the plans it has for me and I could not block it out.  I finally got used to it and started realizing how appealing they sounded.  

Now I was laying on the couch, contemplating whether or not I should actually  go through with them. But, like always, my friend was telling me to go with the plans. 

I picked up my phone and went onto Instagram, looking through the hate comments on my newest pic, it was one of me and Sarah at the ice cream parlor. We both had our mouths open, laughing at how crazy we had been acting and the looks we were getting from other customers. I had a little bit of whipped cream on my nose and she was trying to put a cherry on top. We were laughing so hard the cashier had told us to quiet down a bit. 

We had taken the photo and after we had calmed down I had posted it. But I had gotten so much hate on it, and I had used a lot of editing to make  it look as pretty as it did.

I had read a few of them and saw one that caught my eye.

kierra-faye903 - Ugh, ur so ugly, the picture was pretty until I saw ur face. Way to ruin a pic gay girl.

I let tears slip down my face, Kierra was one of the outcasts at school, nobody really liked her. I can't believe she was in on this too. I knew what was coming next.

*TRIGER WARNING*

I got off the couch and went into my room, pulling out my old art supplies and taking the pencil sharpener.

I went to our junk drawer and grabbed the little screwdriver that was kept there and unscrewed the screw holding the blade to the plastic. I set it back in the drawer and closed it.

I brought it back up to my room and set the plastic piece on top of my dresser. I went back down the hall to the bathroom. I closed the door behind me and slid down the wall, hearing the voice the whole time.

'Are you ready?'

'Don't worry it will only hurt the first time, the rest will make it better.'

'You'll thank me later.'

And the rest was just like that.

I opened Instagram again, following her instructions and going back to the hate comments and rereading Kierra's over and over again. 

Listening to her voice I lifted the blade to my wrist and pressed it on there firmly but shakily at the same time. I slowly dragged it along, creating a small slit, no deeper than a paper cut. I was told to do it again. So I did, lifting it to a different place a little ways farther down and pressed harder, and sped up a bit.

This time it drew blood. It scared me for a second at how relieving it was...

So I did it  again. 

And again.

Until the voice told me it was enough.

I picked up the black notebook I had grabbed earlier and wrote down this before I lost the feeling.

I tried, I really did. 

I promise, it wasn't for attention.

Don't be mad, but I did it.

I finally listened to my new 'friend. 

I think she might be a bad influence too...

She made my pretty pale skin turn red within seconds after doing it.

Now I'll have not so pretty lines where it used to be smooth.

I wish I hadn't done it there. 

Maybe the thighs, 

Or the hips, 

Maybe the stomach.

But no, I cut where the voice told me to;

The wrists.

My wrists.

I finished writing it down in my black notebook. I set it down and looked back down at my arms, I saw a bunch of little red lines, some still oozing blood, others just red.

*TRIGGER ENDING*

I stood up and rinsed them off a bit before looking in the mirror, I saw a pale faced girl looking back at me and she had been crying.

I had been crying. 

I went into my room and put on a fresh hoodie, one of my favorites, a big purple one with a koala printed in the top right corner. 

I tied my hair up into a bun and went back to the dresser and set the blade in the holder before setting the screw back in place.  I twisted it just enough so it wouldn't fall out but enough so I could get  it back out without using the screwdriver again. 

I went downstairs and laid on the couch, flipping through the channels until I found a Once Upon A Time episode I had been watching. I slowly drifted off to sleep listening to the television.

*Sigh* 

I know most of you guys are killing me in your heads. 

 Or saying, 'But last chapter was so happy!'

I'm evil. Forgive me?

Lol, you don't have to.

Bye guys