EMISON: The Morning After 1x02

Trust me

Emily

Ali is in the veranda with mom talking about school stuff, she is pretty responsive but I can tell something's off. I'm not sure  if the Paige issue is already settled, because Ali seems to be upset with something. She didn't even say a word since we left her house.  She seemed to be lost in her thoughts all throughout the drive. *does she think im lying to her?* *is this kind of relationship too much for her to handle?* *is she having second thoughts* *i dont know* *all i know is i want this to work* *i cant lose her again* *i wont*.

Alison

Emily is busy cleaning up after dinner, so I went to the veranda to chat with Mrs. Fields to avoid her, I dont know what to say to her after what I did, I feel so guilty about that kiss. It meant nothing to me, but if Em finds out about it. I dont know if she'll forgive me. I can feel Em's gaze piercing at me, I want to look at her but I can't, afraid that she sees I'm hiding something so I start a conversation with Mrs. Fields. She asked about school, how I am catching up, my plans for college.

Mrs. Fields and I said our goodnights since we still have school tomorrow. I nervously went upstairs *if this isnt Emily I would have found the best lie to cover up for what I've done, but she is Emily, my sweet Em, I promised they'll be no more lies* My heart raced at the sight of her *Im sorry Em* *Im really sorry* I can feel my eyes starting to water, my chest heavy.

Emily

I was fixing the bed when Ali came in.

"Hey, are you ready for bed? I asked

" Yes, um, Im actually pretty tired, Im not feeling well." she sat on edge of the bed and took a deep breath.

I've never seen Ali like this. My Ali. I knelt in front of her and grabbed her hand.

"Hey, is there something wrong, is there something we need to talk about, is this about Paige? I caressed her cheeks.She didnt answer *Oh Ali please tell me what's wrong* *if only I could read her mind*

Alison

"Hey are you ready for bed?" she asked. I don't know what to say, I feel the words choking me.

"Yes, um, I'm actually pretty tired, I'm not feeling well" *is that the best you got?? of course she'll know something's wrong* I felt my knees shaking. I reached for the bed and sat. Em looked at me with guilt. She grabbed my hand and knelt in front of me. "is there something wrong? is there something we need to talk about?? Is this about Paige?" *she thinks im upset because of Paige?*im so caught up in the kiss issue I totally forgot about her* I dont know what to say, I dont wanna lie to Em but the Paige incident is the best alibi I have right now. I have to talk to Noel and keep him from telling anybody what happened. *you are good at blackmailing people Ali, you've done it a million times, this would be the last, you cant lose Em or you'll lose everything.* my inner bitch is smiling, but suddenly...

"Ali, I love you I would never do anything to hurt you, what you saw earlier, it meant nothing, please say something,...please, I hugged Paige because she needed comfort and its the best I can do. Trust me, I love you, I wanna be with you.

I wasnt able to answer instead I bowed my head.*this is the last straw Ali, you cant keep hurting Emily, now she is blaming herself for hurting you,when YOU DID IT TO YOURSELF BITCH* *you will never change Ali*one thing you are good at is lying* I feel bad for seeing Em this way, for apologizing when it is all my fault, I wanna confess everything right now but I know I would lose her. If the girls finds out what I did, I'd lose them too. I can't lose them. I need them.

"Em, please don't leave me, please. I love you so much. I dont know what I'd do without you. I can't live without you. I'm sorry Em, I'm so sorry. *i am a different person when I'm with Em, she makes me better, If there is one thing that I'm sure, is that I love her, against reason, against hope, against promise, against all discouragement that can be, and she'll be mine forever, I'll do anything to make this relationship work, whatever the consequences are.

Emily

"Shhhhh, dont say your sorry Ali, it was all my fault, Im never gonna leave you Alison, I love you so much. *Ali is afraid to lose me, and I feel the same way about her* *She is afraid that I'd leave her for Paige* *All i ever wanted is for you to love me as much as I do you. I love you Ali with all my heart*.

Ali is fast asleep in my arms. I hugged her from behind and kissed her neck.

"I love you Ali" I whispered in her ear.