The Diary of Existing

TWENTY TWO

TWENTY TWO

"The next time you leave your party you should at least let me know."

My mother spent the entire morning hounding be about sneaking out from the party. I haven't had a chance to head back to school grounds, I decided to head back to Holmes Chapel at my mother's place. She was surprised and had scolded me about not being around at the party. Which, she didn't even know because by the time I got back it was already the morning, and it was a phone call from the headmistress that woke her up. She had already slept, and didn't even notice if her daughter had gotten back safely or not.

She made me spend the night. And I wasn't able to even talk to Jacqueline and apologize. She had sent me a text asking where I was, Hannah and Bailey tried calling me too but I didn't pick up the entire night. I didn't know what to say. I had once again, ditched them for Morgan. But that night Morgan seemed to needed me more than them. And I thought that apologizing to Jacqueline face to face might just be better than having to send a text that just say I'm sorry.

"Dr. Palmer's in, you can go ahead." Dr. Palmer's assistant said, my mother didn't even bother to acknowledge the woman. She just went in, and as soon as we got in Dr. Palmer closed her notebook and smiled, greeting us a good morning. Which it wasn't.

As usual, the session went by the same way. She greeted me a happy birthday and said she couldn't come to my party because she thought it was best she stayed away from personal events of her patients. She simply asked about it and my mother chimed in and stole the whole show like always. She kept talking about the people she had met and the plans she was looking forward to. I think Dr. Palmer has now realized what my mother is like, so much so that she finally just let's my mother talk completely, because there really isn't any way to stop my mother and refocus.

"Well, I have a meeting I have to get to. I'm considering trying to move publishers, I'm coming up with something special and I want the best to handle my work." My mother said, her version of a goodbye. Dr. Palmer simply smiled and I was just following behind.

"Alex, I'd actually like you to stay for an hour more if that's okay with you." Dr. Palmer said and even my mother was caught off guard. "I'm sorry if you have plans with her Ms. Rose but I think I need to converse with Alex a bit more." she added. My mother couldn't really say no, after all, it was for my benefit.

My mother simply told me that Amanda would wait for me by the restaurant by the time my sessions over. She walked out and there was silence enveloping Dr. Palmer's office. Now it was just me and her. Our previous sessions haven't really been going well. I've begun to close up, treating her almost like Dr. Arbour and it is sad, because I like Dr. Palmer, I just don't think she understands me completely. Even if, it is her job.

"Alex, you do understand what it means by you turning 18 right?" Dr. Palmer started. I didn't even realize it until she had just said it now. I'm now 18. I'm legally an adult.

"I didn't even think about it until now." I said, and I couldn't help but creep up a smile on my face.

This was something I have been waiting for. To turn 18. To become a legal adult. And even moving here to England I knew that 18 was still the legal age. This meant that I could move away from my mother. I could stay as far away as possible. That I could live my own life, make my own decisions. I was my own woman.

Slowly, but surely, these thoughts were rising up to my head. I was not magnifying the piece of my life that I thought would never come. I could already taste the freedom. Ever since my mother had sent me to that institution, hell, even before that I have always wanted to just leave. To be as far away as humanly possible and make my own decisions. Not have my mother do them for me just because I was underage.