Damn Bipolar

Shocked

Hey btw I'm making it Ali's POV again because I needed to add action.

( ALI'S POV )

Me and Nash were watching a movie together on his couch, until He turned off the movie and said "Babe what happened at school? Why can't you tell me?" he looked concerned so I had to tell him.

After telling him we got into a big fight about how I shouldn't sink to their level and shit. I don't see how I sunk to his level though.. I was standing up for myself.

"I can't date someone who's going to act just like them." Nash says.
"But that's exactly how your acting.."
"Ali I need you to go."
"Whatever Nash We are done."
I left without emotion into the dark night.
Crap it was cold and dark. I just lost my ride home too.

I feel as if someone is following me.. I ignore it and try to find my way home.
Next thing I know I'm pushed into an ally and I hear "I need one thing before I let you go. And thank God Cameron never got this." I hear a condom package open up. No. NO. WHY ME. I scream but no one can hear me. Nash pushes me on the ground and I hear his zipper come down and his pants drop. He then pulls my pants and underwear down. I wanna run away, but I can't.. I'm so shocked I can't even move my bones.
He sticks his big third leg inside my entrance and it hurts like hell. It was not pure pleasure I hated it. He started calling me horrible things while thrusting in and out. I just cry.

A light turns on in someone's house by the ally and Nash quickly pulls up his pants and Looks me in the eye saying "If you tell anyone about this I will personally kill you. Be happy I used a condom." He said in a gross voice. He ran away but I just sat there crying. I realized if someone saw me crying they would ask me what happened, and I can't risk telling someone and getting murdered By .. Nash..

I ran home. I'm going to spend the week alone. Here. In this big house while my Parents are in Peru. Right after I got raped.
I run to my moms bathroom and find her razors, I smash them with a hammer from the tool box and get the blades. I'm crying so hard now.
1, 2 , 3 I'm scared. 4,5,6 I'm just a toy used by boys. 7,8,9 No one truly loves me. 10,11,12 I'm a mistake. 13,14,15. There's blood everywhere now. I just fall asleep on the floor.

I stayed home a few days. I wasn't ready to face the school yet.
I had used all my absent days already so I guess I had to go now.
I get ready and Put on a jacket to cover my cuts. I Can't let anyone see.
I have no one now. My so called "friends" left me.

Cameron still sits next to me in first period.. Shit. I don't wanna sit next to him. I look at him and he looks very sad. Depressed even. I feel guilty.
I wander why he's like this though.

The teacher started talking about rape.
And she was explaining how your feelings would be after you were raped. She was wrong. She has no clue how hard it truly is. "You get scared but soon it gets better." she said

Nope. I'm way more then scared. I'm about to burst into tears right here in class. Cameron notices that I'm holding tears in now.. He gets curious.

I raised my hand to see if I could use the restroom and My sleeve fell for half a second and Cameron saw it. Shit. No no no.He Saw my cuts.

She let's me go, and I run out. As soon as I get to the bathroom I'm in tears.
The bell goes off and other girls start coming in the bathroom. I sneak out and I decided to leave school early. I try and get away without anyone noticing. I see Cameron coming after me. I run out the door all the way home. I think I lost Cameron.. I'm not sure though.

I run up to my bathroom and pull out the blades. 1,2,3,4 no one understands I make it to 20 and I hear the front door burst open. I lock the bathroom door and continue. 21,22,23,24,25,26.
Someone's pounding on my bathroom door. I ignore it. 27,27,28,29 blood everywhere..
"OPEN THE DOOR ALI" it was Cameron.
He finally punches a hole in the door and unlocks it.
"Ali..what." he stopped and fell on the floor in tears.

"Wh-why Ali?" he asked while crying.
"Cameron I..I can't talk about it" I started crying harder
"Ali I know I messed u-up and I can explain wh-why I used you. And what's going on.."
I had no choice but to listen to him.
"Ali my sister and my dad..they died in a car accident. I thought that doing all this would take the pain away.. I thought that..sleeping with girls would make me feel better.. but fuck that.. I'm so fucking stupid. I've never noticed that I was hurting anyone.. but I saw you hurting.. I saw your cuts. I heard you cry.. I saw the pain in your face.. I'm seeing you now.. And truth is I feel horrible about how I treated you.. I'm such a dick. I'm falling for you.. I'm falling for you Ali. But I can't have you. I don't deserve you after everything. I'm so broken inside. I've been hiding it away.. I'm so sorry.." He started crying harder then ever.
"Cameron .. I-I didn't know this."
I didn't know what to say.
"I'm sorry too." I blurted out
He carefully washed my cuts and then kissed each one of them super sweetly.

I'm so confused and hurt and broken. I honestly don't know what to do.
"Please."Cameron says quietly
"Please what?"
"Ali, please forgive me for all this shit."
How could I not? I mean after he explained it... "Cameron I forgive you.. I love you so much."

"I love you more honestly." his eyes were truthful and loving. He scooted over next to me in my blood puddle.. He didn't care. He held me and comforted me.

All of the sudden the bathroom door swings open.. It's Nash. I Hold Cameron's hand tighter.. Nash looked out of breath "wait when did - and why is- what is- Huh?"

"Don't worry about it Nash." Cameron said. "Why are you here anyways?"
Nash's eyes sank "Oh, um, I wanted to check on Ali."

"I'm fine please leave." I'm scared

"Whatever man." he slams the door and leaves.

It feels nice. Just sitting in Cameron's arms. I wanna sit here forever.
Cameron opened his mouth to say something.. But he didn't say it.
"Cameron..What is it?" He finally spits it out after a few moments.. I don't like what he says..