Show Me The Ropes {cashton}

IV

Having his best friend around once again was changing Ashton's whole demeanour, breaking down a wall of ice that had built up for so long, though no one really understood just why it was there to begin with. He seemed to have everything, the best circumstances a man could have grown up in. 

"Ten years.. Has it truly been ten years? That sounds as if it were so long ago, and yet it feels like I never left you," Calum said cheerfully, it was difficult even for the most pessimistic of pessimists to not feel good around the dark-haired boy, he radiated such brightness and warmth. 

Even with the disappointment of Mrs Irwin's unpleasantness towards him, Calum was able to recollect himself and pretend like it was okay. To see Ashton show sadness hurt, a lot, and all he really knew to do was to change the topic and move on. Pretend it didn't get to him.

Ashton took a sip of his tea before carefully setting down the porcelain teacup, stirring it with a silver teaspoon, anything to occupy his shaky hands as he spoke up. 

"Ah, it does feel like yesterday, doesn't it? And yet, so much has changed. Tell me, what am I hearing about a woman you've met, Calum? I'd love to know, tell me about her."

"Well... I'm not sure, really. The pressure to marry is strong, being an only child and all, but she is lovely enough. I suppose it just doesn't feel the right time that's all, I have other things on my mind... But she is kind, she certainly is pretty, but I've never met anyone who I'm just head over heels for," Calum said, not as enthusiastic as he seemed to be about other things, it was like he was convincing himself of his attraction to her. 

A big pressure was put on young people, especially the women usually, so they could appreciate that this could be worse. They could make a living either way in this society. But there was still a pressure, around ones 'biological clock' ticking, of which the cogs would eventually rust and cease to work.

In other words, to marry and start a family wasn't an option forever. It wouldn't wait around for you to feel ready. You needed to jump into it while you were young, and that didn't always mean finding your perfect match, life didn't always work out so well. It wasn't like the books, that was something that both of them realised the hard way. 

Ashton felt quite sorry for him, that Calum was an only child going through this because it meant even more pressure on him to get married. It didn't help that with him standing out because of his race, a whole other challenge weighed upon his dating life. This woman that he, sort of, liked seemed to be an only option if he were to have what many would consider a fulfilling life.

The Irwin family was quite large, with four children of which Ashton was the second eldest, at twenty-four years old, so although his family were pushing him to find a lady, they weren't so forceful about it. Not yet anyway. As he crept closer to thirty, he expected that to change. If he had been born a lady he would have been considered old by now, he always thought that was unfair.

"Cal, if you don't love her then don't marryher, is it not simple?" Ashton questioned, but he knew the answer to that. He wanted to kick himself for even saying something so stupid. Of course it wasn't simple, it never was,but he wished it could be. He was still finding himself, he didn't have thecapacity to find someone else too.    

"Not at all, but wouldn't life be so easy if it were that simple.. I have a mother and father relying on me, I couldn't bear to disappoint them. They have given me everything my whole life, if I don't go through with this I would break their hearts," Calum sighed, the flame in his warm brown eyes was dim just thinking of the situation. 

He didn't feel so sorry for himself, because a man with a wife could do whatever he wished, so long as they had children he would have done his adopted parents proud, and his biological parents too, wherever they were watching him. 

His freedom would remain in its entirety married or unmarried, and he would gain respectability, but there was a strong guilt deeply set within him about stripping a woman of her single freedom when he didn't really love her, and hadn't the energy to learn to love her. The one thing he did have to cling to was that he wouldn't let her go without anything, and would do all he could to be a good man to her, and keep her happy.

Even so, it couldn't be the fairytale little girls often thought about. 

For any other man, this wouldn't matter, for it's selfish benefits would outweigh any dread of being legally and religiously bound to someone who didn't make the heart flutter, but for a hopeless romantic and kind soul like Calum, he empathised with anyone and anything, and couldn't bear the idea of 'using' someone.

"I suppose only time will tell Cal, perhaps you'll even meet a lady here in England, don't allow this to chip away at you. There is always time. You still have years to make these choices, you're twenty-two," Ashton said, hoping that by shortly wrapping up the conversation on the subject, he could be helpful in lifting Calum's spirits. 

"Here, Calum, lets get you another cup of tea, and you can tell me about America. I want to know what it's like! And hey, after your time here I suppose it will be my turn to visit you over there, yes?"