Life as a Poet

The Me Inside of Me

Here today I stand

I stand on the shoulder of who I was

Facing the destiny

Of my future life

As things now lie

Passion and sadness filling who I was

A life that I haven't been a part of in so long

Living as a bystander to who I am

Regretting decisions that lead me to now

A past full of regrets and decisions

Nothing truly making sense to me anymore

As who I was is not me now

Days having no meaning

And years being blurred

I can't remember me I murdered

Who I was before I decided to change

To a person more fitting and brute

Or elegant and wise

I try hard to fit into a mold of whom I surround

A new person every day

I'm not one person

Rather a combination of many

I come across as cold and unfeeling

Though through a few layers

I am weak and soft

Soft to everything you say

But I will not make myself cry again

I cannot show who I was because I was weak

I was weak to think that you can add another layer to hide

That faking a passion is possible

And that leads me to right now

I look out among the ocean of options and ponder

Is my dream realistically me

Or something I'm planning so I don't end up without a plan again

Am I planning for the future

Or my eventual hatred of my life and job

Living in the now is not possible anymore

I killed off who I was and

That's was the worst mistake I've ever made