Blue (The Spectrum Series: #3)

Chapter Twenty-One

I can't breathe. I take a deep breath and yawn soundlessly. I turn to crawl out of the blanket veiled over me, but I'm pinned down to the bed. I try to wriggle out from the unusually heavy blanket, but I don't budge. Again. Memories flood my vision when I open my eyes, each more vivid than the last: Blue storming out of my room, going to the movie theater, Blue visiting me at the dance studio, his gentle soothing words as he admitted he wanted me, getting lost in his soothing kisses, coming back here to his room and filling me with a sensation unknown to man as he touched me and made me feel more alive than in my eighteen years of life.

Smiling so wide that my cheeks feel bruised, I try to pull myself out from under his heavy body, but I'm too weak to even budge an inch. I stop trying to move when it becomes obvious I'm not going anywhere anytime soon. I exhale and instinctively bury my fingers in his hair. His head is laying on my chest and one of his arms is secured around my waist, the other flat under my upper back. I'm amazed how we ended up like this, entangled in each other's arms, our breathing in sync. I wonder who moved to clasp onto the other first. Something tells me it was me, but his possessive hold on me tells me different.

I pull my wandering fingertips from his hair down to his forehead. I push his hair back and he stirs. I pause, worried he'll catch me touching him, but he settles on his back, one of his arms still under my back. I rest on my elbow and push my hair behind my ear as I stare down at him. I admire how serene he looks in his sleep. His pink lips aren't stretched into a frown, and his rosy, puffed cheeks makes him appear years younger. Softer. Innocent. All of which is the opposite of how he really is when he's conscious and has me in sight. I exhale, wanting this part of him to remain when he opens his eyes.

His eyes snap open when a faint humming noise sounds. "What is that?" he groans, most of his voice drowning in the fluffy pillow beneath his curly head.

"I'm pretty sure it's your phone, mine is dead," I answer, and he nods.

I watch him reach under the sheets to dig through his pants pocket and pull out his vibrating phone. "What do you want?" he barks into the mouth-piece, his entire demeanor shifting. The once peaceful aura that surrounded him transforms into something ugly and dark. Small crinkles appear in his forehead, his pink lips pursing as he scowls at whoever is on the other end of the phone.

"That's not gonna be possible," he says quietly, running his other hand through his hair, tugging at the ends as he adds in a harsh spit: "Because to go would require a sliver of me giving a shit, which I don't. Don't call me for this bullshit again," before slamming his thumb on the red circle to end the call and dropping the phone beside him on the bed.

Without a word to me, he lays back down and throws an arm across his eyes. Worry floods me, coiling in the deepest part of my stomach. I want to lay on his chest and ask him who made him lose his temper this early in the morning. Is that person the reason for his palpable mood every day? A part of me knows he'd never tell me, because, even though I've shared a vulnerable part of myself with him and he's admitted to having feelings for me, he can never truly open up to me. Even if it includes a measly phone call that obviously put him in a volatile mood.

"I'm sorry my phone interrupted you playing with my hair," he says with a dimpled grin.

He was awake then? And he didn't say anything?

"It's no surprise you're just as mean when you wake up." I pick up a pillow and gently swat at his arm, embarrassed he caught me fondling his ridiculously silky curls.

"And you're adorable when you think I'm asleep." He beams, taking the pillow out of my head to greedily stuff under his head. I smile and risk being teased again as I sink my fingers into his thick wavy hair, but he doesn't protest. He has to be teasing me again because I know I look terrible like I always do in the morning. But of course he looks angelic, go figure.