Blue (The Spectrum Series: #3)

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Years of devoted morning runs come into play as I tear through the crowd and out of the house. I stumble over my feet and bump into people but don't register my chaotic escape as I push to the front door. I yank it open and welcome the crisp, fresh air hitting my heated cheeks. I want to smack myself with every step my feet find as I rush down the stairs of the house. Hot tears stream down my face and it's becoming harder to breathe. The adrenaline I've been accustom to running is nothing compared to the urgency to just get away and run away as far as possible right now. The world tilts back and forth under my feet and my heart is pounding against my ribcage.

How could I have truly expected Blue to be any more than the selfish, manwhore-ish, rude guy I first saw when I met him? Of course he's been using me this entire time, and of course I was too blinded by the lies he told me; too stupid to see that he never really cared about me. He just wanted what was between my legs and a thrill chase and, being the idiot that I am, I gave him just that and a piece of my heart. Being the disgusting guy he is, he ripped me to shreds when I thought he'd cherish me. I want to hit myself for thinking something so naïve. Why would he cherish anything when he doesn't have the capacity to?

Standing in the middle of the quiet yet charming quad, it hits me that I have no idea where I am or where I'm going. I wrack my hazy mind for the pathways Riley and I took to come here but I was too focused on the lovely features of the campus to pay attention. And I idiotically forgot my phone in my room, too eager to come here to talk to the jerk of the night. That and I was caught up in my makeover to remember to grab my charging phone. I begin to wish for the impossible as I mindlessly wander around the nearly deserted campus. I wish I hadn't agreed to come to the party. I wish I never fell for Blue's lies. And, most of all, I wish I'd never liked him.

A batch of fresh tears come streaming down my cheeks and I choke back a few of them, feeling like the ultimate fool. I turn a dozen corners and cry even harder, not only because I'm officially lost and freezing, but because I hear Blue yelling behind me, "Lily, wait! Stop!" and his converses hitting the concrete. How much more of a cruel person can he be right now? Why the hell is he chasing me when it's clear I'm not worth it?

Ignoring his pleas and the sincerity in them, I pick up my pace and turn another corner in this maze of a school. I hear myself gasp in relief. Up ahead is the stone gazebo and a few bends and turns is the entrance. Adrenaline in full gear, I push my legs to go faster. I can't be near him right now, I just can't without feeling the air caving in on me. I need to get away and I need to be as far away from him as possible.

But before I can escape him, I hear him scream, "Just fucking stop and let me speak," and I do stop. I almost fall over as I stop running and whip around, the tears on my cheeks burning my skin. He wants me to let him speak to me. I want to laugh. What else is there to say? He's already gutted me; what worse could he possibly do?

Blue is a few feet away from me and has various expressions. I can't read him exactly, but I notice anger, guilt, regret, and relief. Each pisses me off because they make him look like he cares when I know he doesn't.

"What do you want, Blue? What else could you possibly have to say to me?" I yell. My heart is thrashing against my chest so loudly I can barely hear my own shaky voice.

"I... fucking Christ." He fists his hair, seemingly at a loss for words. "I'm sorry, okay?"

"Sorry? You are sorry? You don't know the meaning of sorry!" I proclaim, my voice coming out in a sneer.

"I am though, I truly am."

"No, you aren't." I cross my arms and stare at the gazebo. Why the hell am I even wasting anymore of my time on him?