To All The Ones I've Loved Before

To David

David, 

     I'd start this letter off with 'Dear David', but to be honest, looking back, it's hard to understand why you were dear to me. 

     I loved you because you were smart, and funny, and even though it was only the 5th grade, I thought it was the deepest love somebody could feel. We would linger by the door to the school, talking about smoothies and books and make up word games to play as an excuse to walk slower and talk. I thought you liked me back. 

     But then there were the times I'd ignore, or say came from passion or respect. After conversations about recipes and latin roots you'd say my teeth were as yellow as the sun, or we'd have a shouting match in the cafeteria because I thought your religious beliefs were stupid, and vice versa.

     And yet, even though I should have known it was a foolish crush, I was devestated when on Valentines day, I had meant to send you an annonymous love note, but someone saw me leave it and assumed I forgot to put my name without me knowing, and you came up to me and told me you were flattered, but had a girlfriend. That was a lie. Less than a month later, you confessed you had a crush on my best friend at the time on the bus, and asked her to 'go out' with you. She said yes. I found out the next day. 

     Even after you had broke my heart, and the heart of my best friend, I loved you. Your eyes shone like sapphires, and you were the only person I knew with the same passion and anger management problems I had. I felt like we were more deeply connected. We had similar heritage, similar interests, and enjoyed the same activities at school. I felt bad for you, because your dad was going to make you take over the family business when you, like me, wanted to be a chef. It broke my heart, but while I was feeling sorry for you, I ignored just how bad you made my feel about myself. 

     I'll be honest; I know this isn't your typical love letter, and I know it's for the best that we didn't get together because I wasn't ready for a relationship and ours would have been immature and dysfunctional, but I can't help but wish you the best, David.

                                                                                                              Sincerely, 

                                                                                                                                       Me.