Sex, Drugs and Rock 'n' Roll (First in the Bad Habits Series)

Chapter Eighteen

Sex, Drugs and Rock ‘n’ Roll ~ Chapter Eighteen

 

            “Try not to panic, girl,” I mumbled to myself. “I’m sure there’s a perfectly rational explanation for all this.”

            Suddenly the lights flashed on. I winced as my eyes adjusted.

“Hello, sweetie.” I looked up into the face of a young woman, probably in her late twenties. She was smiling sadly at me, and I couldn’t shake off the feeling that something terrible had happened.

            “Where am I?” I asked her. She looked at me as if I was insane.

“You’re in hospital, Miss Kirk, in the blue ward. You arrived here a couple of hours ago, asking to see Mr Clover.”

            Then I realised.

            I’d been dreaming. Very vividly, apparently. I sighed.

“Is everything okay?” she asked, peering at me through her glasses.

“Yeah,” I said, managing a small smile. Apart from the fact that I’d just realised that what I thought were the past few perfect months of my life had turned out to be my imagination. “How is he?” Once again, the sad smile returned.

“He went into surgery about half an hour ago. I’m sorry, but it isn’t looking too good right now.”

            My breath caught in my throat. Did that mean they thought he wasn’t going to make it?

“Your brother and his friend are outside if you’d like to go see them.” I nodded, realising that I was probably wasting valuable space that she needed to use, and exited the room.

            It was fairly windy outside, and the cool breeze mixed with the anticipation caused goosebumps to rise on my skin. Nicky immediately took his jacket off and wrapped it around my shoulders. I breathed in its scent, glad to have some sort of comfort, even though the fag smell made me feel a little bit sick.

“Did they say anything about how he’s doing?” Gavin asked me. I shook my head.

“They didn’t even tell me when they thought the surgery would be over,” I told him. I watched as his shoulders drooped. Nicky lit up a fag, took a drag, before passing it to my brother.

“It will turn out okay, Rob,” he said, trying to smile at me. I knew by looking at the expressions on their faces that neither of them believed that for a minute. And sadly, neither did I. Gavin passed the fag back to him and we stood in silence in the cold until it had burned down to the filter.

            As we made our way back to the ward a feeling of dread came over me. I didn’t want to go back in there knowing that Ash most likely wouldn’t be walking out with me tomorrow morning like he had in my dream. My breathing quickened and I felt like my heart was going to burst from my chest. Tears streamed down my cheeks as I leant against the wall trying to catch my breath.

“I think she’s having a panic attack,” a distant voice said, but I couldn’t make out whose voice it was. My vision blurred and I felt myself slide onto the floor. I squeezed my eyes shut in the hopes that it would clear my vision. When I opened them I saw that Nicky was crouched beside me, shifting his arms underneath me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and let him lift me up. He carried me bridal style down the hospital corridor.

“I feel like a baby,” I sobbed, then laughed because I realised how ironic that was, which caused me to burst into a fit of hiccups. He grunted, and I realised that I’d probably put on a few pounds since he’d last carried me. But my legs still felt like jelly and I was sure that I’d just collapse again, so I let him carry me to Ashton’s room while I regained my strength.