The Light in the Dark

Chapter 11: Distractions

Jungkook didn't sleep that night.

He knew he'd spend the night looking up at the ceiling the moment he left the palace. He had gotten home (somewhat stumbled his way across town) and fell onto his bed immediately. Jungkook laid on his back, staring at the ceiling, trying to make something of the blank canvas before him, wondering how the Prince would have painted the emptiness with his eyes. He wondered what would have happened if he had leaned in faster, connecting his lips with Taehyung's. He wondered what would have happened if he didn't leave the Prince standing there, speechless, with the action of leaning in left in the dust, buried beneath all the unspoken words that the two boys so desperately wanted to share and hear.

Jungkook layed there, conjuring a piece of art in his mind, painting away his empty and hopeless thoughts with colors he never knew he had.

A part of him is confused that he isn't completely heartbroken. I mean, it's hard to make any sense with his heart when he didn't even know where it stood in the first place. He should be upset that Taehyung rejected him, but at the same time it almost gave him a more clear answer than one would assume at first. Taehyung pulled away not because he didn't want to kiss him, but maybe because he really did want to, but knew he couldn't and shouldn't.

And Jungkook would have done the same, pulled away, if he were sober. Hell, he wouldn't even have asked him and talked to him the way he did, with such intention and force if he hadn't drank so much champagne.

So Jungkook assumes that he's somewhat content because of the idea that Taehyung did actually want to kiss him.

The one thing that made him uneasy were the questions: What do they do now? What happens now?

There were only so many things that could happen, but all the outcomes result in nothing working out.

Jungkook sighs, watching the paint splatter in a crazy mess, making him close his eyes to restart. He turns on his side, wanting to forget yet again, of the genuine conversation he shared with the Prince the night he took him to the cave outlook.

Now comes the stage of regret. The moon is heavy and staring at him through the window, almost laughing at him for falling for a guy he knows he can't have--will never have. He regrets ever taking the Prince to the cave, regrets the walk they shared through the palace garden.

He regrets going to the party and following the Prince out to the balcony, and leaning into him when he knew he shouldn't have.

How stupid of him. The Prince had told only minutes before that he was going to court Princess Jisoo, and that should have been enough for him to walk out right then and there.

So why did he lean in?

Maybe it was the glimmer in the Prince's eyes that Jungkook swore held all the stars in the sky with a single stare that made him forget for a moment, just a moment, that they lived in two completely different worlds.

Taehyung's world was elegant, flamboyant, full of jewels and sparkles. His almost seemed too fragile to touch, the cost of living in it being more than life itself.

Jungkook's life was simple and safe, considering a day of completed daily chores a success. He walked on a large bridge, the width reassuring enough for him to skip around and not care all too much about what he did or how he looked.

But on the flip side of both of their lives sits a dark and gloomy underworld, rumbling and threatening beneath them.

And that's where Jungkook assumed their world's collided. He realized this the night at the cave, that disregarding the contrasts, they weren't all that different. At first he thought they were attracted to each other solely because of the loneliness they shared and found comfort within each other's exchanged words.