Love Marathon [Completed]

Do You Love Me?

Yo's POV

"I love you. Do you love me?"

He apologises, "Sorry. My answer will still be the same as before. There's no way I could accept you. Sorry."

I know. I didn't expect you to accept me, and I know you won't. Maybe it's better this way.

I utter, "Don't apologise to me. You have done nothing wrong. I'm the one who keeps pestering you... I heard that you are getting engaged. Congratulation!"

"Thank you, Yo" He says weakly.

"Time really flies. Look at this place. It has changed a lot. Still remember the very first time I confessed to you, it took place in here. I was just a ten-year-old naive boy at that time." I reminisce.

"Now, I'm a twenty-six-year-old man and you are going to get engaged. Soon, you will get married and have your own family. I guess it is time for me to end this 16 years' love marathon. A marathon that I was fated to lose at the beginning." I remark sadly with sadness filling my heart.

"Yo, I believe you will find someone who will treasure you and love you." He remarks with a hint of sadness in his voice.

I smile lightly.

I don't think I can. Not in this lifetime.

"Thank you, P'Ming. Yeah, maybe I will. One day." I lie.

He speaks with sincerity clearly shown in his voice, "Yo, I want you to know that I care about you. No matter what, you are still my best friend and I...I will always be here."

I know you care about me. I know.

My control is breaking. I can feel it and I will cry out any minute from now, but I don't want to cry in front of him.

If... this will be the last time I see him, I hope the last expression he sees on my face is my smiling face. I want him to remember my smiling face.

I have to leave now!

"P'Ming, sorry, I just remember that I have something important to attend later. I have to go now. Sorry."

"Don't apologise. It's ok."

"Thank you, P'Ming. Bye bye." I take my bag and wave goodbye to him, leaving him alone sitting on a bench.

This scene reminds me so much of the first time I confessed to him. He was sitting on that bench reading and I came up to him and told him that I like him, that I want to be his bride when I grow up.

"P'Ming."

"Yes."

"Can I hug you? For one last time. This will be the last time. I promise. It's ok if you can't oblige me."

"...... ok." He stands up and spreads his arms.

"Thank you."

I put down my bag and walk into his embrace.

Memorizing how it feels like to be in his arms, his body temperature, his scent, the softness of his hair and everything about him.

I want to document every detail of him and store them into my memory bank. This probably will be the last time I see him...

Goodbye, my love.

I push myself slightly away from him and look into his eyes. I give him my sweetest smile and probably the last, "Thank you. I guess I can finally say goodbye to my 16 years' unrequited love. Goodbye, my love."

I jog back to where my bag is lying. I grab my bag and walk away, away from him and away from the place where my love marathon started.

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Ming's POV

Yo, I love you too.

But I can't tell you that. I'm not allowed to tell you that. I'm not allowed to love a man.

Sorry, Yo...

I'm the only son and my parents, they want to have grandchildren. I can't let them down.

The only thing I can do is to give you up, to pretend that I don't love you, to go against my heart, to give away the love of my life.

Sorry. Yo, I'm so sorry...

I have been spending most of my life doing what my parents want me to. I'm living my life for them. I'm just a coward who don't have the courage to defy his own parents, to fight for what he wants, to go after his own love, his own happiness.

In other words, I'm utterly useless.

I don't deserve you or your love. You deserve better. You deserve to have a man who can truly love you, who can risk everything for you and I... I couldn't be that man.

I believe... no, I know that one day, you will find someone better than me and you will live happily with that person.

Me? I guess I will be spending the rest of my life in a loveless, miserable marriage, listening to the nagging of my unloved wife and doing a job I have no interest in.

I can't complain because this is the life I have chosen for myself. I don't blame anyone, not even my parents. I choose to listen to them. I choose to satisfy their wishes and I have to live with that.

It doesn't matter, and I don't really care. What I care about is you. You are the only thing that matters to me, the only thing I care.

I don't care whether I'm happy or not, as long as you are happy. Your smile is all I need for me to survive through my own miserable life.

So, Yo, you must be happy. You must live blissfully, have a blissful life that I couldn't have. I give you all my happiness...

If one of us have to live his life in misery, I hope it will be me.