Chasing Lyndon

I Hate You

There was this Christian story that my mom, Michaela not Riley, used to tell me when I was a little girl.

"One night I had a dream... I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord, and Across the sky flashed scenes from my life. For each scene I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand; One belonged to me, and the other to the Lord. When the last scene of my life flashed before us, I looked back at the footprints in the sand. I noticed that many times along the path of my life, There was only one set of footprints. I also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in my life This really bothered me, and I questioned the Lord about it. "Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you, You would walk with me all the way; But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life, There is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why in times when I needed you the most, you should leave me. The Lord replied, "My precious, precious child. I love you, and I would never, never leave you during your times of trial and suffering. When you saw only one set of footprints, It was then that I carried you.""

I saw my mother, Michaela as the Lord, carrying me when I needed it. In times of trouble, times of doubt. I did not feel this way when I was around Riley.

I hated her.

She wasn't even my mom.

She was a monster taking me from my mom.

I glared at her from across the kitchen table as I ate dinner that night after I had met my brother and sisters. To be exact we were triplets and had a baby sister. Crazy right?

My sister, Zahra, looks just like me. Its insane to come home and see that you have someone who is your identical. Who looks just like you. Your own walking 3D mirror. The only difference is that her hair is dyed slightly blonde. She acts different than me, though. She's the good girl, while I'm the girl who has sex with her boyfriends brother.

My brother, Zander, is perfect! He loves me, even though we just met. He's like my best friend, while Zahra wants nothing to do with me. You can tell he's my brother though. We have the same chin, nose, and lips. Its the weirdest thing.

My little sister, Kenya, is 12. She looks nothing like us. She has blonde hair and blue eyes, she's beautiful. She has a ton of energy and accepts me for the person I am and the person I act like. She likes to hang out with me and wants to go shopping with me tomorrow.

My dad, Dan, was a hardass. My sister and brother say they know where I get my attitude from. He was hard as stone and never broke. I only saw him smile once, when Kenya ran at him, kissing his cheeks. I take it that she's daddy's little girl. Zahra is mommy's princess and then there's Zander and I, all by ourselves.

My "mother", Riley, was a bitch. No other words to describe her. She was annoying, incompetent, bitchy, rude, outspoken. Everything I am.

But I hate her.

"Zania did you hear me?" The spawn of the devil herself spoke loudly, slamming her fork on the table. I snapped my head up to her, glaring at her.

"My name is Lyndon, remember?" I heard Zander scoff as he choked on his lasagna, laughing slightly as he tried to cover it up.

"Your name is Zania." My mother told me, placing her hands on either side of her plate, raising an eyebrow at me as if daring me to go on.

I sighed, wiping my mouth off with my napkin and setting it on the plate in front of me.

"Hear me out, ok?" I cocked my head to the side, raising the same eyebrow she did. She puckered her lips, nodding once.

"Fine." I took a deep breath, sitting up straighter as I shut my eyes then opened them, ready to get down to business.