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i barely recognize myself

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i barely recognize myself.
since that night
when i put my youth in a casket
and buried it inside of me.
since that night
when i stopped shedding tears
as i covered that grave in me.

if you see me drowning
over and over again,
please don't try to save me—
i'm far from needed saving.
even if its too deep down,
and my feet can't touch the floor,
i'll survive and prevail.
even if it means living half-alive
over and over again.

and if someday
our paths will cross,
and you'll just pass me by.
i'll tell you, it's perfectly fine
as i barely even recognize myself;
barely even alive.

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