What's your Number? (Colin Shea ff)

Sporgan?

Brook's P.O.V.

Ally, Colin and I went to the open house. It wasn't that far so we walked.

"So the challenge with a newly divorced guy is that he's just looking to have fun. What you gotta do is give him the best sex of his life. He can't realize that he's falling in love with you until it's to late," Colin told Ally.

"So I'm covering up the fact that I'm marriage material with amazing sex?" Ally asked.

"Ya. How's your blow-job?" Colin asked.

My eyes widened. Ally was also shocked.

"What?" she asked.

"Relax this is business I'm just trying to help ya," Colin said.

"Well if you must know it's pretty good it's the hand-job that I haven't quite figured out yet," Ally replied.

"Well I guarantee he has so skip it," Colin said, "How about you?"

He looked over to me.

"What?" I asked.

"How's your blow-job?" he asked me.

"Why are you asking me?" I asked confused.

"Cause is like to know before we get down and dirty," he said.

I rolled my eyes, "Ya right."

"I guess this is it," Colin said when we arrived at a house with an open door.

We went inside.

"This is nice, Simon's doing well," Ally said.

"Wonder where the realtor is," Colin said.

"Hello?" he asked walking up the stairs.

I followed him and left Ally down stairs.

"There's no one here," I told Colin.

"Ya your right, I'm gonna use the bathroom," he said entering the bathroom, "You're welcome to watch."

I gaged and closed the door.

"You know open houses aren't meant to be used as portapotties," I told him through the door.

He chuckled.

I went to the staircase and looked down. Ally was there talking to Donald!

He was telling her that it wasn't the open house but his home.

"Colin get out of there right now!" I whisper/yelled through the door.

"Why," he asked.

"This isn't the open house it's someone's house," I said.

He flushed the toilet and ran out of the bathroom. We both ran down the stairs and we left the building but of course Colin had to close the door.

"That was Disgusting Donald," Ally said as we all got together outside.

"He didn't look disgusting," Colin said.

"He was disgusting when I dated him okay?" she said getting angry.

They both then turned away.

"Hey there's Simon," I said pointing to a guy leaving his house.

"He looks good for a guy going through a divorce," Ally said.

"Ok you guys go I can take it from here," she said shoving the both of us.

"Don't shove," Colin said shoving her.

"Get out of here," she said shoving him.

"Don't shove," he said.

They ended up having a full on cat-fight and I was in the middle trying to break it up. When I got punched in the head things got personal.

They both stopped and I turned to look at the person that's gonna give me a bruises. Ally.

"I'm so sorry," she said

Colin the hugged me from behind and held me. It was weird.

"You don't hurt you sister like that," Colin said moving my hair out of the way to look at the forming bruise, he was being over dramatic to make Ally feel bad.

"Ally Darling? Is that you?" Simon asked with his usual British accent walking over.

Oh wait a minute I think I know what's coming.

"Simon I can't believe it what are the chances?" Ally asked in her not so usual British accent.

Colin almost bursted out laughing and so did I. He let go of me and turned around.

"It's brilliant to see you," Simon said.

"It is brilliant," Colin said turning back to us.

"Simon you remember my sister Brook, and this is her fiancé Colin," Ally said.

Why do I always have to be dating Colin?

"But they have to go now," she said.

"No we don't," Colin said side hugging me.

"Oh pleasure," Simon said extending his arm.

Colin took it, "No the pleasure is all mine."

"Of course Brook, how are you doing?" Simon asked now extending his hand to me.

"Just marvellous," I said in a British accent, taking his hand.

"Wow, wow it's just good to see you. Did you look this good when we were dating?" Simon asked Ally.

"Oh well I had a fringe back then," she said, "That's bangs, fringe is bangs."

Colin nodded.

"Americans," she said.

"Listen their showing my house. I've got to disappear for an hour or so, so would you fancy grabbing a bite?" Simon asked her.

"Smashing, cheerio Colin, Brook," she said leaving with him.

Colin and I both bursted out laughing.

"Too funny," he said.

"Oh I can't believe I had to us a British accent for so long," I said.

"Your good at that by the way maybe you should leave that for the bedroom," he said.

"Oh ya?" I asked getting closer to him.

"Oh ya," he said holding my hips.

"Maybe when you find Terrence Adams I'll us it with him," I said walking away.

He sighed and followed me.

We both then went back to his apartment. He gave me an ice pack for my head. We talked about our hobbies. He showed me some of his music and I showed him some of mine. The best part was that the whole time he didn't mention anything sexually we were just talking like normal people.

As the time passed we then heard someone coming up the stairs. We guessed it was Ally. When we went to check it was.

"Cross Simon off the list," she said walking up the stairs.

"What happened?" I asked.

"My British accent was a little rusty and halfway through darts I started to sound like Elisa Dolittle and then when I tried to pull out of it for some reason I panicked and went full Borat. I was like 'what's next for sporgan.' " she said using the accent.

"Sporgan?" Colin asked.

"I turned into the sweetish chef from the muppets," she said.

"He was my favourite," Colin said and I chuckled.

Idk I think I'm more of a Miss Piggy person. She got sass.

"Ok who else we got?" she asked.