Supernatural Season 5 Quotes

Episode 19

Hammer of the Gods

Man: Heaven, right?

Dean: Trust me, pal... better. 

Dean: How you doing?

Kali: No.

Dean: But...

Kali: No.

Dean: Oh, lady, I'm just, you know...

Kali: I understand. And no.

Dean: 10-4. Yeah. Sam, unpucker, man. Eat something

Baldur: Ladies and gentleman, thank you for coming. Althrough in all my centuries, I never thought I'd see this. This many gods under one roof.

Sam: Gods?

Baldur: Now, before we get down to brass tacks, some ground rules. No slaughtering each other. Curb your wrath. Oh, and uh, keep your hands off the local virgins. We're trying to keep a low profile here.

Baldur: Now we all know why we're here. The Judeo-Christian Apocalypse looms over us. I know we've all had our little disagreements in the past. The time has come to put those aside and look toward the future. Because if we don't, we won't have one. Now we do have two very valuable bargaining chips. Michael and Lucifer's vessels. The question is, what do we do now? Anybody have any bright ideas? Speak up. This is a safe room.

Odin: I don't know what everybody's getting so worked up about! 'Cause it's just a couple of angels having a slap fight! There's no Armageddon. Everybody knows, when the world comes to an end, the Great Serpent Jormungandr rises up, and I myself will be eaten by a big wolf!

Zao Shen: Here we go...

Odin: Oh yeah? And why is that? Because your beliefs are so much more realistic? The whole world's getting carried around on the back of a giant turtle? Ha! Give me a break!

Zao Shen: Don't mock my world turtle.

Odin: What are you gonna do about it?

Zao Shen: I'm gonna send you packing to Valhalla!

Odin: You watch your mouth when you talk to me, boy!

Zao Shen: Boy? I'm older than you.

Odin: No one's ever proved that.

Kali: If we fight..

Gabriel: You die.

Kali: And what makes you such an expert?

Gabriel: I've tussled with those winged ass-monkeys once or twice. Kali, no more tricks. I'm begging you, don't do this.

Gabriel: I'm not a spy. I'm a runaway. I'm trying to save you. I know my brother, Kali. He should scare the living crap out of you. You can't beat him. I've skipped ahead, seen how this story ends.

Kali: Your story. Not ours. Westerners, I swear. The sheep arrogance. You think you're the only ones on earth? You pillage and you butcher in your God's name. But you're not the only religion, and he's not the only god. And now you think you can just rip the planet apart? You're wrong. There are billions of us. And we were here first. If anyone gets to end this world, it's me. I'm sorry.

Dean: All right you primitive screwheads. Listen up.

Sam: Are you out of your ind?

Dean: I'm out of options. Now on any other given day, I'd be doing my damnedest to, uh, kill you, you filthy murdering chimps.... But, uh, hey... desperate times. So even though I'd love nothing better than to slit your throats, you... dicks... I'm gonna help you. I'm gonna help you ice the devil. And then we can all get back to gankin' each other, like normal. You want Lucifer? Well, dude's not in the Yellow Pages. But me and Sam, we can get him here.

Kali: How?

Dean: First, you let those main courses go. Then we talk. We can either take on the devil together, or your lame-ass bitches can eat me. Literally.

Lucifer: You know, I never understood you pagans, always fighting, always happy to sell out your own kind. No wonder you forfeited this planet to us. You are worse than human. You're worse than demons. And yet you claim to be gods.

Gabriel: Lucifer, you're my brother. And I love you. But you are a great big bag of dicks.

Lucifer: Wait, what did you just say to me?

Dean: Horsemen, huh? Well we got War's... And we niched Famine's. That's two rings down. Collect all four? All we need is Pestilence and Death.

Sam: Oh, is that all?