RaphaelxLeonardo HATE/Deppression and LOVE!!!

Leo understand his pain

Comment and vote pls

Leo's pov
I cant believe this happened, im the leader so why am i the one who got captured? Suddenly my thoughts are broken when i remember how i got here....

Flashback
        Spying on shredder i creep around a corner when we see them, the foot and the krang!
Listening, i hear them talking about flooding the sewers with mutagen!
       I give the sign for retreat so we can make a plan and speak to sensei. Creeping away from the building we turn and run.
         LEO! Hearing my name i look back to see Raph being dragged away by karai and Tiger claw. "Raph!" Running i pull my sword hearing it clash with karai's a second later. Having only Tiger claw Raph breaks free and is in a battle of guns and sai's. Glancing over i see Mickey and Donnie engaged with the foot. Next thing I know everyone is falling back, i feel a pinch...and all is black.
Flashback over
       Finally I understand. Its all Raphs fault! if he was stronger and faster we would have gotten away! He always brags about how hes so strong but when it comes down to it hes weak and apparently useless now that I think of it... missions would probably go alot smoother without him always being there to argue with me on every decision. My thoughts are cut off when Shredder walks in,
            "Leonardo the fearless leader. Bound in a cell...powerless. how does it feel to be at my mercy?" Looking at him I glare and shuffle around before speaking, " I am not bound my spirit is free, I am not powerless my mind is my greatest weapon, and I am not a prisoner because soon I will be freed." Stalking towards me he grabs my head and speaks, "Are you sure you will be freed so soon? Mickey isnt the smartest when coming up with plans and Donnie will over think things so much he will hesitate for awhile doubting and questioning his own mind and possible outcomes for weeks. That just leaves one left Raphael. The hot head I must admit he doesnt have many weaknesses, he is a great warrior and loyal to his "fearless" leader. His one downfall is that he is impulsive and reckless however what an honor to fight by such a strong willed force. He is not so easily broken." Glancing up at shredder studying him i speak, " if you want a reckless, useless, weak turtle who cant even take an order be my guest...take him. You would be doing me a favor."  Staring at me Shredder steps closer and kneels before saying "Leonardo I thought you were wiser than this. I actually respected you and your leadership. However I see you don't appreciate your hardest working member even I your enemy can see the Way he looks at you." 
      "What are you talking about and why do you sound like he is an old friend WE ARE ENEMIES!!!"
Stepping back Shredder thinks before speaking  "Leonardo you are unfit to be leader if you can not see the hardship Raphael faces. I your worst enemy who wishes to end all of you in the worst way possible can see Raphael strives to be the best. He wants your approval and you treat him like trash beneath your feet and your other brothers follow your lead. Raphael feels unloved and is slowly giving up I am only telling you this because it would be such a shame for a great warrior to die a shameful death and because I know it's torture for you knowing you failed as a leader and a brother." With that he walks away leaving me to my thoughts.
       Like Sensai always said "My son you kill a man with a sword, but you can kill his spirit with your words, and you can torture an enemy for the pain they have caused​, but leaving them to there own thoughts will always lead to there ultimate downfall." I never understood.... Until now.
    All i can do is ponder what he said. Is it true or not i dont know,  but it would make since I ignore him and call him names and earlier i was blaming him...it wasnt even his fault it was mine, it was an ambush and i should have seen it coming. Raph im sorry, please forgive me for what i put you through. Those are my last thoughts before Shredder walks in and punches me in the face knocking me out. Before im all the way out i swear i see a shadow in the window and then it all fades away.

Time skip

Why does my head hurt so bad? Oh yea i got knocked out..
"How did you sleep turtle fine I presume."
"Yea peachy"
"Leonardo, you know ive always found you attractive...and those mucseles they seem sculpted to perfection..."
Hearing mucseles I can't help but think about Raph and what he would do...ha he would say something smart and piss the shredder off and get beat worse. Or he would break these chains and fight. Raphael always was stronger than me. Then when I started getting good at leading I would rub it in his face because he was strong without even trying. Then he started training all the time and I was getting jelous again so I made him feel bad....what kind of leader am I? What kind of brother am I? Opening the door I see Shredder walk in when-
Ahhhhhhhh! Looking down I see a katana jabbed through my leg leaking blood, panting trying to control the pain I grit my teeth keeping the moans down. Shredder watches my reactions and grabs my other katana and starts make small and long cuts not to deep but very painful. Its like he doesnt want to hurt me but he wants me to feel pain.
" this is nothing Leo be prepared you die today after I get what ive been dreaming of for so long."
By now i have cuts and gashes all over a couple might need stitches and when he stabbed my leg i think he broke through my bone. Starting to fade in and out from pain he slaps me saying not yet.
Leaning my heavy head back he slams my head against the wall and i can't see straight anymore. Suddenly I feel him touching me...down there trying to coax me out of my shell. He has another thing coming if he thinks im gonna drop for him.
Sighing " fine i was gonna make it enjoyable but now your gonna feel me and your gonna wish i prepared you." Scared i slowly drop out when shredder sees he yells, "No! You had your chance now your gonna feel pain!" Scared I start to shake. Im shaking so bad I thought the wall just shook but he did slam my head pretty hard...
Suddenly I feel something wet at my entrance. Gasping " what a-are you doing?"
"Im being nice and not ripping you in half...Im lying I just wanted to see what you taste like before I literally fuck you to death.
With that he lines up and slams into me full force. I blackout from the pain for a second then scream in agony I feel like im on fire, I feel the blood flowing out of me...
Just as im about to pass out the door slams open and Raph comes in, covored in blood. He tackles shredder off of me and kills him in seconds. Im amazed I could barely fight shredder and Raph killed him easily in a matter if seconds. Coming back to reality I see Raph shoving his mask... in a hole through his chest. Hes so strong he didnt even cry out. I notice a bullet hole also in his chest but he doesn't seem to notice it. Taking off my mask i shove it in there having him still bite on his sai just incase.
"Can you walk?" Comes his deep thick voice.
Nodding I stand up only for the black to take over only for a second then i pass out.