i still need you // jude & callie

one; jude

"That's really gay dude."

Jude lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling with a blank expression on his face, repeating those four stupid works over and over again in his head. The tiny cracks in the paint on the ceiling didn't seem to matter to him, like they always had.. at least, they didn't seem to matter right now. He felt so vulnerable with that sentence running through his head, like everyone saw how exposed he was feeling on the inside. He was only twelve but he felt as though these words just sitting there in his head spoke to him more than they should.

His heart nearly leaped out of his chest when he heard a quick, little knock coming from someone's knuckles wrapping on the doorframe. It had been so quiet, with barely a sound audible from the kitchen, that he had been completely immersed in his thoughts.

"Hey mister sleepyhead, c'mon. It's time for some breakfast!" That was definitely Callie, his older sister. He had noticed that she had been acting so much more closed off towards him recently, and he couldn't help but feel neglected and cast out by her in the moment. After all, she was all he had had for the six years they'd been in the system together, and was still the one person, well other than Connor, that he confided in.

"I'm awake, Callie... and, I'm not hungry." His tone came out colder than he'd wanted it to be, showing whatever it was he was feeling in an angry way.

"Well... okay buddy.. um, come down soon okay?"

"Yeah, whatever."

Jude took a minute to think about the day ahead of him. He knew he had to go to school, there was no questioning that... but he had this empty feeling in the pit of his stomach. What if Connor didn't want to hang out with him? What if those older kids started making his life even more miserable? What if... there were a million of those questions just swirling around in his middle school brain.
When he finally made it downstairs, he overheard an argument between two of his current foster siblings, Jesus and Mariana. His foster moms' were trying to get them to lay off each other, because from what he'd been exposed to in this household, the two of them were always arguing, no matter what the situation was.

He made eye contact with Callie for a moment before he took a seat, looking at the table without saying anything to anyone. She had looked like she was going to ask him if everything was alright, and this time was not the right time to do so. He just thought he'd avoid talking altogether to avoid the questioning.

"Jude, sweetheart? Good morning, love." Stef, one of his foster mom's, said with a gentle smile, coming up behind him to give him a loving hug from the back.

"Morning..." He mumbled, returning the soft smile.

After he'd eaten a little cereal, the whole gang of kids headed out to the car to make it to school a little early, like they always did. Jude threw his backpack over his shoulder as he stepped out the door, Brandon walking next to him.

"Dude. You're acting really weird today." In Jude's mind, that comment was very unnecessary.

"So what?? Everyone has weird days Brandon. Leave me alone."

"Jude! Don't speak to him like that. Apologize right now! He didn't say anything offensive." And that was Callie... of course, coming to Brandon's rescue yet again. She seemed to be doing that a lot recently. He threw a suspicious, yet somewhat cold glare at the two of them before getting in the car, not even once thinking about apologizing.

On the ride to school, the twelve year old boy looked out the window, feeling cut out of the world he shared with his older sister. Why was she so quick to be on Brandon's side all of a sudden? It wasn't like she'd known him longer, and it definitely wasn't because they were closer... they barely even knew each other.

As soon as the car was in the school parking lot and had its gear shifted to park, Jude jumped out, walking away quickly to avoid any questioning or lectures from Callie, Brandon, Jesus or Mariana. He turned around to make sure no one had decided to follow him, when he literally ran straight into Connor.

"Whoa! Jude! Easy there... Are you alright?" The two of them made eye contact, jude having to look up to do so, as Connor was much taller than him. His friend's expression immediately flushed with concern.

Jude suddenly forgot how to act around him. "I um, I yeah.. yeah I'm perfectly.. perfectly fine." He offered him a smile to try to make up for that little jumbled speech.

Connor laughed lightly. "Okay.. well, whatever you say, but just let me know-"

He was interrupted as Jude was forced to divert his eyes away from his taller friend. The group of older boys had seen him again, and had now come over to him, and as soon as they did, they took it upon themselves to shove Jude down onto the sidewalk. It wasn't a hard push, but it was enough to cause a small scrape on his right palm. He grimaced, immediately looking at his hand and then up at the boys, who looked like giants from where he was now.

"Whoops sorry. Didn't see you there Foster.. you little tiny gay idiot."

Jude was able to stand up just in time to stop Connor from lunging at them.

"Connor.. it's alright... let's just... let's just go." He mumbled, his head spinning, absorbing the words that had just been said with utter distaste and fear.

"But Jude!-"

"Connor!... Please..."

He felt his eyes welling with tears, but he just wiped them on his sleeve and started walking to class with his friend right there next to him. Luckily, Connor didn't say anything. He knew when Jude just needed him to be there with him. He didn't have to say anything.

As the two entered the building, Jude turned his head for a moment, although he wasn't really sure what drew him to do so. That's when he saw Callie.. well Callie and Brandon. They'd seen the whole thing... He just shook his head and followed Connor inside. Why was this happening??