I'm great,
fine,
spectacular.
In a way
I relish every night,
and I live every day.
I live,
I laugh,
I write,
I sing,
I wonder what the new days will bring.
Then I get home,
and I take off the mask.
The day,
and almost
impossible task,
Is finally over,
and so I lie Down,
and wait patiently for the day that I die.
I cry,
I scream,
I bawl,
and sleep,
even though I have promises to keep.
I wait,
and wonder,
and cry some more,
And I ache and burn from my very core.
Then,
I'm not alone,
and the mask reappears.
Out goes the grief,
pain
and all of the tears,
As I am a happy person, cheerful all the day.
A world full of rainbows,
not one shade of grey.
Of course I'm not okay,
I'm not fine,
No matter how much I seem to shine.
I don't even know why I feel this...
Why my existence is one long, endless abyss.
But it is,
and will be,
so I cling to life,
As one day I might slip,
and end it with a knife.
But, I'm still here,
no matter what my dreams might say
And I hope that one day
I will actually be okay.
