drabbles

𝕋𝕚𝕥𝕝𝕖𝕕

Everyone changes. 

Whether it be subtly, or drastically. Human beings often live in the moment, and miss the past only when it is convenient. A friend turned to foe, a lover turned to an ex, it is only the cycle of life. Sometimes, it might not even be they who have changed, but you yourself. We miss things that we can not have. 

I go by many names. None of which are what I have chosen for, and all for which have their own stories. Human beings are creatures of habit, but Gods aren't much different. We, us as humans, have created them to be so similar to us that we get upset when they commit things such as murder even. We have caused such conflict among ourselves, that it even falls on them. 

A god is born from a wish from a human. It thrives off of us. We shape them to our beliefs. We shape them to our thoughts, how they would look, how they act, what their habits are. 

I served a God before this one. I even served one before I was given to this one. Despite being a human, a man who is a 'creator' for this world, I am treated nothing more but a tool. Because being dead, my only use to them is my abilities. My strong will. It's not because of who I am, but because of what I am. 

I was given the name Sora. I hated that name. I hated it to the very bones that structured myself. At least that is what I had told myself for years. I forced everyone to call me Ji dwi, my name before I was given Sora, but no one listened. 

Torn from my home, betrayed by the Goddess I worshiped, I was forced to raise this God. I was forced into guiding him, to show him the rights and wrongs (because human wishes and prayers can only go so far), and to care for him. I despised him. I ignored him. I shown distaste. 

But never once did he let me be. 

I am a human. Dead. But I feel more alive now than I ever have. It wasn't this little boy's fault (would he even be considered a boy if he is a God?) for my anger, and yet I took it out on him the most. No, I did not beat him without given warning. I gave him those cold shoulders. I gave him the spite that I held. But that poor child only came back. 

He...did melt my heart. He broke through that shell. Little by little, he did. It took him years, years before he earned the relationship I had with him. Children are pure, innocent beings. They don't deserve to be neglected. They don't need to atone for their father's sins, or for their mother's. They are their very own being. 

As so was this young God. He didn't deserve to be punished for what the Elders had done to me. 

It took me awhile to realize that, to realize my faults. The hardest thing a human could do is to admit and realize their flaws. I have many, but I tried to live by what I considered right. This young child helped me realize that. 

This young God...I devoted myself to him without realizing it. I became his shield. I took beatings, I took the scolding, I took everything that I could just to shield him from the harsh treatments that the Elders threatened to give him. There are things I will never admit to him because he doesn't need to know. He won't know. 

But even so, there's only so much that I could've shielded him from. 

I raised him, as if he was a son. I let him live, and make his own mistakes to learn from. I regret some of those decisions I made, but I never had a child of my own(at least that I remember of). 

But the day he died...the day he was killed. The day I murdered him. 

My life was shattered. 

My whole being was torn. 

We as humans make mistakes. There is no doubt in that. And because of that, it can change us. 

I was given a new name. 

I was given to a new God. Or rather, Goddess. 

I question myself. I question my actions now. But also...I have lost all of what I could. I am no longer devoted to a God, or Goddess. 

I have found a new fire lit inside of me. 

One that is burning with such intensity that it has burned me, and I have been reborn.

I am no longer Sora. Or Ji dwi. 

I am Shiro.