you're all i have left | julian jara

chapter 10

"he knows how much i dislike her, he knows my past with her.. why would he do that to me ? i thought we were bestfriends, i thought he knew how much i .. i loved him .." i looked down, as tears streamed down my cheeks.

"it's gonna be okay, i know how you feel. but elizabeth, listen to me. boys are trash, and julian doesn't deserve someone like you. right now we're going to walk out of here, and order an uber back to my house. we can spend the rest of the night there, you can sleepover, it'll be fun"

"okay."

we walked out of the restroom, and i walked over to jonathan. "brianna and i are gonna leave early, we're gonna uber back to her house." i said as i wiped some tears off my face.

"hey, wait why? are you alright ?" he looked at me noticing my watery red eyes . "i'm fine, i'll text you" i hugged him. "okay, facetime me if necessary. you know i'm here for you" he said hugging back.

we walked out, right as i was going to step out i felt someone grab my arm, i quickly turned around.
"what the fuck do you want" i pulled my arm away. "elizabeth listen to me please" julian begged.

"leave me alone, you're just like everybody else. why was i stupid enough to not realize that, and think you were actually different. don't text me call me, delete me from your contacts and just don't ever bother talking to me again, okay ? thank you ! go have fun with claire and i hope you have a nice life." immediately not believing that those words had just came out of my mouth. that was my bestfriend.

"elizabeth we're not dating, why are you getting so pressed ?! it's not like i cheated on you or anything" he quickly responded.

"i'm getting pressed because i love you julian, and i thought you knew that, i even thought that the love might've been mutual, but now it's clear it's not. you practically led me on, you made me think you felt the way i do for you, but now i certainly see you don't. i hope claire treats you as well as i did." i vented. his facial expression changed as soon as those words left my mouth.

"goodbye julian" i walked away with brianna as i stared at the floor. i was right, he doesn't have feelings for me, that's why he stayed quiet.

at that moment i kept wishing he'd stop me from leaving. i wished he'd tell me he loved me back. but he didn't. he let me go.

i was so hurt.

"hey actually is it alright if the uber can just drop me off home, i'm not feeling so well" i asked brianna, as i was in the point of tears.

"yea, okay"
she ordered an uber to my house, i walked into my house going directly up to my room. i changed and removed my makeup.

i love him
why'd he do that
why doesnt he feel the same way
whats wrong with me, why does everyone always leave me.

all these thoughts scattered my mind as tears slipped down my cheek. am i being overdramatic ? he knew how much i disliked claire and he knew how much i liked him. he led me on with flowers and dates and texts that made me absolutely fall for him .

all boys are the same.

my phone went off.

"Jonathan:) would like to facetime"

i had no motivation, to speak to anyone. i just wanted to hide under my bedsheets and cry, drown in my own emotions. drown in my own tears. i muted my phone, and threw it across the room. tears streaming down my face, mascara all over my face, and my heart was shattered.

  that night, i had felt a feeling like no other. a feeling which ive never experienced before, but the thing is that it wasn't just one feeling, it was several mixed into one.

sadness, anger
disappointed, feeling worthless
replaceable, and the feeling of stupidity