These were going to be the last breaths I would draw. With the poison coursing through my body there wasn't a chance of me surviving and yet not a soul cared for me, or asked me why my body had begun to crumble, or why at the age of 23 I was on my deathbed. But the answer was simple; I was too naive, and because of it this had become my fate.
Nian Yongzhen the man I bled for, the man I married, the man I swore my life to in the end, neglected my very being, despite the fact I worked my body, mind and soul into becoming a woman he would find ideal. He liked song so I forced myself to sing until my voice went hoarse. He liked his women thin and dainty so I forced my legs and arms to move until my body collapsed. He liked poetry so i memorised verses and verses of poems that eventually he never heard. I had molded myself into woman seemingly without any flaws to a point i sacrificed everything I held dear to me. But for his love it wouldn't matter is what I had thought, after all they always told me that a woman is nothing without her man. I stooped down to becoming a concubine when I had a rightful position of becoming his first wife because I thought, one day, one day he would notice me and love me and tell me he hadn't forgotten me. but he never cared, he didn't care enough to even bat an eyelash towards me and he didn't care despite knowing my own cousin poisoned me to become his wife.
I couldn't bare to cry. I was too humiliated to shed tears. My decisions had led to this. This was rightfully my ending.
Staring into the fading light, I remembered the day when my father and mother had passed away. I remembered the day I met Yongzhen, I remembered the day when I heard him speak to my cousin with lust seeping through him, and then the day my own cousin had slipped poison into my meal.
My parents had left to the Rou Province when their carriage was attacked. I was only 13 years old and distraught and was blind to the envy of my father's brothers who fought to gain guardianship over me. I ended up choosing the 2nd eldest brother which is why I met Nian Yongzhen. 10 years later, my decision led me to my own demise. I chose a man who's daughter killed me for another.
"I can't die, no not like this " I heaved
"No woman isn't replaceable" I once heard him say to his friend
If only I could take it back, I wouldn't sell my laughter for a man who found it replaceable, I wouldn't crush my dream for a man who didn't care to hear it, I wouldn't sell myself for any less than I am.
'I want to blossom...' I want to bloom like flowers in my father's garden, not shrivel up like the blooms in Yongzhen's bin. 'I beg to the stars and the heavenly souls above don't let me die in vain'
Author's note
Many of you who have read my original piece will know that this is a 180 from what i had written before and, though i may use similar themes as the previous book they will be very different. Also again i do not have a proper upload schedule and I'm very sorry for that.
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Emin Lan Yixiu
Lãng mạnA tale of a woman who was filled with so much misery at the ripe age of 23 even death couldn't bring her to an afterlife. Here is the life of Emin Lan Yixiu the girl who lived again.
