Hold On Till May | m.c.

VIII

Saturday, 07.04.

Michael,

Again, I do not feel quite well today. You want to know what is going on in my head? I'm sure you don't and I don't want to be responsible for breaking your heart or making you cry. And I don't want you to have sympathy for me.

I have several mental illnesses I can not recover from because I'm just too weak. Most of the time, I think about dying, releasing myself from the pain I carry inside of me. Thinking about suicide is somehow selfish; either you free yourself from all the pain, but leave the world without thinking about the damage you leave behind or you stay, forced by the people around you but keep on suffering from your own lost war.

Zia