I lived in Taiwan because of him. But turns out he doesn't love me. I was so shocked when I saw him with someone else.
I never wanted this life. It was just one-sided love. I was such a fool.
we all thought that you love me but we're all wrong. It's hard to forget you.
it was an easy decision to make a commitment with you, but a hard decision to let go of you.
I remember the exact words the both of us said.
FLASHBACK
"Hey baby" he greeted and hugged me, but I didn't hugged back. He looked at me with confusion written all over his face.
"What's wrong?" he asked me with sadness in his eyes. LIE! I know that he already knew why I acted that way.
I scoffed at him and went to out shared room.
"Baby. Are you alright?" He asked once again. But this time, I was already fumming with anger.
"I'm not alright! How can you expect me to be alright if I saw you with a woman that isn't me?! Tell me Lin Yanjun! I moved out from my parents for you but yet you gave me this in return!" I exclaimed as I pointed towards my eyes that are full of tears.
"It's not what you think" he stopped in mid sentence to figure out the things he would say.
"I'm so tired of this! You're a member of a cpop group and the fans knew our relationship but you still have the urge to lie and cheat?!" I screamed.
"I have my reasons!" He defended his self.
"I couldn't believe you Yanjun! You kept on defending yourself when you already knew it!" I exclaimed.
"So what do you want me to do then?!" He screamed.
"W-we need a break. I will return to my parents. You could continue on your career and tell the fans we already broke up. A-and forget all about us" I said as more tears fall down from my eyes. He just nodded without saying a word.
END OF FLASHBACK
That might looked like I already let go of him, but the truth is I still haven't. Almost everyday, I stalk his weibo account just to get in touch with him.
I'm shock because he still haven't told his fans about us breaking and the arguement we had. His fans still think that me and him are together.
"I told you not to make any commitments at such an early age! Look at you now!" My older sister scold me. She's right anyway.
"You're right. But I was 20 years old when I made that commitment. I was his lived-in-partner for 2 years but this stil happens" I whine.
"Aisht! Stop whining and forget all about him! He's not worth it!" She exclaimed. I smile weakly at her before nodding.
I sigh deeply, not letting any emotions go to me.
I wanted to swim the sea between our two countries. I still wanted to be with you and fix what I've broken. I wanted to forgive you and start anew.
But do you still want to be with me? Are you willing to give our relationship a second chance? Or do you want to move on with another girl? I know that I'm not the only girl in your dreams. There are plenty of fish in the water.
There are other girls who can give you everything, but why did you choose me?! And now I can't move on from you! You left a deep wound in my heart that only you can heal it.
Are you even suffering like me? Or you are with a new girl?
I can't get you out of my mind. I can't think someone that isn't you. You're still stuck in my min and heart.
I want to move on from you but I don't think I can. I desperatelt need you.
You're the one who shattered my heart but I know that you're the only person who's willing to pick it up and fix it.
How did our love become like this? Why did you let our hearts get shatterred? Or is it my heart who only got shattered.
YANJUN'S P.O.V
I was only trying to flirt. I didn't thoughtthat she would took it that serious. I never loved a girl that I just met except for you, Jung Hyerim.
I made your heart shattered. Will you even let me pick it and fix it up? Did you already let someone fix it? Or you are still waiting for me to come at you?
I didn't dare to tell the fans our situation right now. I'm scared of what they'll think of me.
I was such a flirt! I didn't thought of the consequences because I thought there would be none since our love is already strong enough. But I was wrong.
I already saw it in you eyes. Your eyes told me that we should have a break and forget each other.
Eversince that day, I'm a crying mess. Nobody could cheer m up. I didn't flirt to anyone, even to Zhangjing-ge.
They know how much I love you. I just wish that you know it.
I'm nothing without you. My mind will always think of you. My heart only beats for you. But where are you? You're a thousand miles away from me.
Is it still possible to fix what's broken?
