Thinking back over the past three and a half years, I can say that I've been through a lot, never really had parents who cared, so I was never taught the fundamentals of life, how to live, how to love, how to be a child, and nobody ever told me not to use drugs. I've just been thrown around home to home, and when I was 13, I thought it an adventure, standing here at 16, I dread moving to another place, another family who doesn't get me. Social workers, tearing me from my friends (because I don't have family) and now that I'm in high school, I cannot just pretend that I don't make friends, don't form attachments, 'cos hell I do, breaks my heart and I'm mad at them; mad at the state, who can't find me a family, and in a year and a half, I'll be like the millions who always age out, and never find a home, no family to support me as I grow older, I'll have no mother to be a grandmother once I have kids, and I'll be on my own, nobody to watch them as they turn ten and I have job interviews, so I can support them, and not having them eating out of metal tins, like I once did. I don't know how I'm gonna turn out, but one thing's for certain, if I do find a family, I will never hurt them. I'll never disrespect myself, never abuse pills, like others I've seen waste away, Lord knows I'll be stronger than them. I'll always be myself no matter what, find a job and save up for that phone I've always needed,and if I don't have a family, I'll fly out-of-country, to find people who'll care for me, who won't even know of my past, and not know of my old country, whose rules were really crappy, tearing kids away from families, not caring if they're happy. Never caring if they're loved, not caring if they're stable, they would not know I was one of those who wasn't able to find love, or be close to a family, that I was always thrown away, all they'll know is that I'm "happy".
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Hey, Sorry It's been a week. School and homework and things, but my other account @juliastephens4 has been updated. I'm out for now and I also want you to know that although my bio family does not want to take me, it does not mean that they do not love me. REMEMBER- I wrote this while I was going through depression (a deep one), and fun fact: I am closest to my grandmother, and when I was little, was closest to my mom's twin, my aunt who took me in at 6, and she told me that when I was little, I would sit in her lap, curled against her for hours and WOULD NOT MOVE! Sounds cute. I'll update soon. XO.
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A Series of Heartfelt Expressions
Ngẫu nhiênThis is not a fanfiction or a story... Okay it sort of is a story. It is my story, and here is some of the pain I went through at one of my darkest times. Thank you, Alena and Jake, for helping me and loving me when I though nobody else did. @bookne...