From a young age, I knew something was off with my mom, she was always overly happy, sometimes we didn't get along. I was always disrespectful, always talked back, she didn't do anything, didn't even give me a good smack. We always moved around, boyfriend to boyfriend. Sometimes even to family, but in the end always a boyfriend. She was never independent, never mature. Could barely raise her youngest daughter, and raised her oldest, both children leaving her at a very young age, they didn't want to move, just wanted to stay in the same place over a year, though one daughter did achieve it, the other came near a year, then I got moved again. My mother told the state she wanted me to stay in care, signed away her rights like a farmer does to a cow in a county fair. She didn't try to change, and let the drugs overcome her, she didn't want to face the world, so she put herself in slumber. Locked everybody out so she can do her heroin, guess now that baby's in care, I can't be the hero again. I cannot comfort her or tell her that she's loved, Kentucky took away that right, that stupid ass judge, never knew what he was doing, breaking families and children. Forget Judge Mailing, my mother is more important. She cried out for help, many-a-times. No one ever listened, nobody heard her cries. She's wasted away now, hit rock bottom, so my aunt build a wall she could start climbing. "Better than I've seen her in years" my aunt said. Breaks my heart 'cos I've never seen Amy rise above a 10, never seen her good, her eyes clear and not bloodshot, never seen her sane, and her kidneys weren't clogged with all the alcohol she never stopped drinking, didn't see her youngest daughter sneaking small shots of them. Yeah, I know, I've made mistakes. Lord, just please don't let me end up like Amy, my kids don't deserve the pain.
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You know, when I tell people I am in foster care and have been since Jan. 2015, nobody believes me. Or that I am currently 16, and the longest I have lived somewhere (consecutively) is 11 months. People say I seem so normal. Well, normal is only a facade, and they say your parents define who you are, and I am living proof that that is false. I'll update soon. XO.
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A Series of Heartfelt Expressions
DiversosThis is not a fanfiction or a story... Okay it sort of is a story. It is my story, and here is some of the pain I went through at one of my darkest times. Thank you, Alena and Jake, for helping me and loving me when I though nobody else did. @bookne...