Alyssa x Dennise

drunk writing

It's three am and I'm relying heavily on auto-correct because I'm very very drunk right now. I'm barely even home but I need to let this out.

We went out after band practice tonight. She held my hand and I held her in my arms and kissed the top of her head because I wanted to let her know I am with her every step of the way. I wanted her to feel that I am with her even when she thinks everyone is ganging up on her. I wanted her to know she has me. I am hers. Always.

He was there. For a moment. We just came back from a short trip to the local grocery store beside the studio to buy a pack of cigarettes and he was standing in front of the studio when we got back.  She went straight to him and it stung a little. (No, it really hurts a fucking hell lot.) But I know she finds rest in his presence.

I am envious of the way he has her. I always pray that he takes care of Ly.

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I didn't finish this last night because I passed out when I got home. hahahaha

I can barely remember the conversations but I can remember very vividly the way she sang her heart out and jumped around and smiled and laughed so much.

She told me it's been a while since the last time she felt that way. I wanted to tell her it's been a while for me too, that I was happy at that moment because I had her.

I can also remember this particular moment. She was singing Maroon 5's She Will Be Loved while she rested her head on my shoulder and my arm was draped around her. I was singing along to the lines and she would look at me and smile from time to time and my heart swells with immense admiration for her.

I wanted the moment to last longer. I wish I can hold her like that more.

Ly, if you're here by any chance, I know I just told you that I love happy Ly but I want you to know I love you even on your bad days too. I care for you and I adore you and I pray for you everyday to the divine I believe in.

I wish you'd smile more because you are sooo beautiful when you do. You are a wonderful human being and I am in awe of you.

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This is just me blabbering about my unfortunate heart. 'He' is the one I wrote I'm Sorry for. I'm still sorry, but I'm not sure what for anymore.

Please message me or comment something because tangina my head is going to burst I don't know what to do anymore!!!!?????!!!!

Also if anyone wants to read it I might write a fic about this. hehe