18 reasons why (him) ↬ l.dh

11. if i can live without you

"hyuck?" i knocked on his door but no responses as usual. so i just entered right away just to see no one on the bed. where the hell is that rat?

i'm getting nervous and worried about this guy, i don't want him to kill his self again because of problems he doesn't even know how to solve.

i went straight to the bathroom but it was locked.

"donghyuck? donghyuck i know you're in there! please open the door!" i banged it continuously.

and all i can get as a response is a cough coming from inside. shit.

"hyuck open the goddamb door!"

what the hell is he doing?!

right, the keys, where are they?

"fuck it." i mumbled when i realized that it's way too far from here, donghyuck might be dead by now when i'll get it from there.

i roamed my sight around the room. taking something that can break this freaking doorknob. i'd cry when i'll get unsuccessful after this.

"shit, donghyuck what the fuck are you doing?!" i rushed to push him so that he can't continue what he is doing.

but nah, unsuccessful, he already ate those pills.

i looked back on the sink and saw some, scattered in there. until i heard a groan from him and a sound of something heavy fell.

"oh god, hyuck! fuck you, don't die!" i slapped his plump cheeks continually while shaking his shoulders. curse myself!

"h-hyung, please don't tell anyone about this, let me die in peace, please." he uttered, eyes are shut closed.

"fuck you again!" i yelled at him before carrying him by his arm around my shoulders.

---

and it happens again and again with mark. like for instance, mark caught donghyuck cutting his own wrist, filling the bathroom with his own blood.

another one is trying to end his life by jumping off the rooftop of their company's building when they had this conference with somi's parents.

he also tried to drown himself, drinking potassium cyanide, speeding up his car's engine, thinking that falling off a cliff for instant death.

but it was hard, someone's always trying to stop him which he never understands why, why wouldn't they just mind their own businesses? why wouldn't they let him die?

cause he believes that if y/n's gonna end soon, so why don't his too? but sooner.

"it's better to suffer in hanahaki disease than to kill yourself continually."

"donghyuck i'm so tired of this."

"stop being so selfish, did you ever thought what would y/n feel when she'd know that you died sooner?"

"how about us? have you even thought of us? your family? your sister? me? and somi?"

and with those, mark made donghyuck realize his own doings.

"right, it's better for y/n to forget her love for me. well, i'll die either way by that."