'Elthríel listened with rapt attention as Finrod, laying on his back and staring at the clear sky above him, spoke about the beauty of the Trees of Valinor. He rarely spoke to her now, not that he had ever made a habit to talk with her, but this was...
The gentle voice was barely more than a whisper and she opened her eyes wearily to see Finrod gazing down at her, worry and concern etched clearly on his face. "Amarië, 'tis morning."
She nodded and swallowed, every movement seeming to cost her so much energy. She closed her eyes and tried to focus her thoughts to think clearly instead of muddling up.
Finrod had spent every moment with her for the last three days, especially since yesterday morning, she could not rise out of bed without help. They both knew what was happening, but they never spoke of it and denied it in their hearts: the end was nearing fast.
Finrod tenderly brushed a limp strand of hair from her cold, yet sweaty face, feeling the grief again threaten to overwhelm him. He had held it back thus far, telling himself he needed to be strong for Amarië, his starlight, his Elthríel. But seeing her so helpless and weak nearly threatened to snap his heartstrings in two.
She opened her eyes again and looked around the room dully, the once clear sparkle of life almost completely vanished from them. "Finrod?" her voice was barely audible.
"Aye, Amarië, I'm here."
"When will it be spring?"
"'Tis autumn, love. Spring is yet two seasons away."
She struggled to raise her hand and after only lifting it a few inches, let it drop in helplessness. "I wonder what spring will look like in Valinor... I have forgotten--" her voice caught and she did not continue.
Finrod slipped his arm underneath her head and spoke to her, his voice threatening to break. "The sun will be shining, warm and golden, and a sweet breeze will be blowing in the trees. The flowers will be shimmering in the light and dazzle us all with their beauty. The sun will catch on the jeweled cities and nearly blind us with the variety of colors. The water of the streams and pools and fountains will be cool and refreshing. Songs will be heard always, and if we listen closely, we might even hear the Valar singing from Tirion. It will be like it was when we were there, long ago."
"Do you think--that we will see it again? Ever?" Her gaze was at something else in the room, but he knew she was seeing what he was seeing, the picture his words had painted for her.
He did not answer her question for several minutes. "I don't know."
She closed her eyes and sighed, her chest barely moving.
He caressed her face, seeing the blue veins clearly through her nearly transparent skin. His starlight was fading away, and he could do nothing to stop it. He watched, silently, as she slept, wishing, hoping, praying that her every exhale was not her last. He did not know why he still held onto hope. Perhaps it was because he could not bear to let her and their unborn child go.
Once, Galadriel entered the room, but then she left as silently as she had come, no words spoken. She knew better than to speak to him in those hours. Words were useless.
His arm still beneath her neck, he laid down next to her, his other arm across her. But his vigil never ceased. He was acutely aware of her every breath, every single faint rising and sinking of her chest as she breathed.
In his mind's eye, he traveled over the many years, from when they had first seen each other, until their separation and later reuniting in Middle-earth; from holding her during her nightmares, until their wedding day and the years of peace that had followed; from her telling him she was with child, and the happiness that ensued, until the fading began.
All flowers and stars fade in their time. Painful is their farewell.
Finrod only wished he could go with her that they may not be parted again.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
It was hours later, when the room began to darken with the sun's sinking into the west. Galadriel came in and lighted the few candles in the room, but she did not leave.
Finrod looked up at Galadriel, and the wordless communication that followed was brief. He felt powerless that he could not stop it. His only hope now was that his love would awake before she passed.
All of a sudden, Amarië stirred, inhaling sharply. She opened her eyes and blinked, looking around the room and recognition passed on her face as she laid eyes on Lady Galadriel. Then she gazed up into the teared eyes of Finrod. A tear began to trickle down her face also and she parted her lips to speak. "Finrod."
"Aye, Amarië, I'm here." His voice cracked.
"I can't stop it."
"I know." He sniffed hard and swallowed.
She reached up with her hand, a slight and shaky movement, and rested it on his face. He withdrew his arm that was around her and held it there as they gazed into each other's eyes. "I love you, Finrod Felagund."
"I love you too, Amarië, my Elthríel."
The barest shadow of a smile crossed her face. "Perhaps we shall meet again in Valinor."
He nodded, words unable to pass his lips.
"Such a love like ours cannot fade away and die. The memory of it will forever haunt the lands we've passed."
He swallowed again, search for words to say. "I only wish..." Then he stopped, not knowing how to finish.
"You kept the promise you made to Daelthron. You have loved me, and I you. You have remained faithful until the end. Surely even the Valar cannot ignore this." Her hand began to fall and Finrod could do nothing to hold it back.
"Amarië," his voice, though soft, was panicked.
"Finrod, I cannot--stop--it."
"Please, stay." A sob escaped him and he did nothing to wipe away the tears that were swiftly falling down his face.
"I love you."
He strained his ears to hear it and whispered back, "I love you, Amarië Elthríel."
Her eyes fell closed, and she felt the gentle press of his lips on hers before everything slipped away.
Finrod lifted up his head and saw the life leave the fragile body behind. An indescribable sound escaped him and he laid his body on top of hers, cradling his love's dead form, while sobs racked his frame.
Galadriel watched him, tears falling from her face, and then left, closing the door behind her, letting him grieve alone.
*hands you tissues*
If it makes you feel any better, I cried while writing this and I'm crying every time I read it.
But, despite all of this depressing sorrow, (*trying so hard not to spoil it*) there is some good stuff coming. One more dark chapter, and then, to quote Samwise Gamgee, "Even the darkness will pass..."
Sorry if I broke your hearts as well as mine. Just stick with me a bit longer, and it'll be alright. I swear it--on the precious.
