My Childhood Friend

Part 7 (Age 34)

I heard you two divorced, after an unhappy and painful seven-year marriage. I heard because she wrote the most hateful letter - citing me as the cause of the breakup.  The source of her disappointing marriage.

You did not return my letter, my email. And I long lost your phone number.  I looked up your company address and stationed myself at the lobby.  You came out of the elevator.  You exuded power and money in your tailored suit, expensive watch, latest tech and the quiet assistant who followed you, waiting for your command.

What should I say?  Would you even acknowledge me?  Had your anger ceased?

Maybe I should not disrupt your life.  Seeing you smiling at your assistant and you walking confidently towards your driver and car just outside the lobby.  You looked as if you did not have a care in the world.

I turned to hide from you and came face to face with the security guard. 

"What is your business here?" 

"I..."  Words failed me as the security guard shifted his attention to a person behind me.  It had to be you.  Because my body already responded.  The way it always did when I thought of you.  When you were near.  And when we last touched.

It yearned as if two separated parts of a soul were magnetized to each other.  I could not breathe and clutched my heart.  I could not tell if I were having an episode.  Or if this were just my normal response to your nearness.

"What.  Are.  You.  Doing. Here."  Your voice sounded like you wanted to strangle me.

To apologize.  I faced you and watched you struggled with a myriad of emotions.  To tell you...I love you.  I've missed you, longed for you.  Every day.  For all of my adult life.

"Leave.  Now."  You minced your words and the security guard grabbed my arm.  

Forgive me.  I put up my sunglasses so you wouldn't see my tears.  And let the guard pull me away from you.