RUST

My Aplogies to the Sea

If the rain were to smother my lungs
And the tide would rip me

If one day I were to float in the storm
I'd apologize for not being able to drown

We used to be beautiful you know
You lay in fields of elderflower and pomegranate and everything tempting and exquisite

My apologies

We used to be ..
You drank deeply from the wine of dried petals
And fell taking the light along with you

And I find your last words tucked between the spaces between the words you thought forever

I find a meaning far greater than you could ever say hidden in the crook of my neck and the cracks of my bones

I apologize to the sea for not touching her waves nor never kissing the salt on her rigid lips

She is gentle for me
And you
Hidden

The sun has fallen with you and the best parts of me are woven with the light

Every imprint of your palm is bruised with the broken shards of sand that have somehow cut me far deeper than the words you never said

And there is something you have stolen from me and I cannot fathom what the space between my words are

All the words I have meant to say have squeezed their way past my tight shut lips and all the thread that stitches the sun you stole are unraveling

It seems that when you fell, intoxicated, elegant, drowned,

you grasped my thread and bit the shards of sunlight that ebbs out of my skin

I apologize

For the bare thread the grips my navel and does not allow me to go under

I could not drown if I wanted to

The webs in my cracks have fused me into human, scarred and imperfect

When the water laps and the bristles of my feet and the wave grips me pleading

I apologize

You left me in a field of intoxication and color like peach infused honey

And when you stole the sun and took me down you did not think to unhook your matted hand from the sunlight you were taking or the light that is woven between bruises and joints

And falling

Falling

My apologies

I could not catch you

And when you drowned and the waves greedily drank your words and unheard thoughts..

.. I didn't offer you my voice for you to say them

And when the last wave looked at me..pleading.. mercy..

I looked at your last breath of intoxication, elderberry and honey and left

My apologies

To the sea, to the sunlight unraveling my skin..

To the lost words tucked between your crevices

And to the empty spaces in me

And of my stolen parts