X-REV: Origin of the Fallen

Entry 03: Perks of the rock bottom

I could continue talking you through the tobacco scented childhood and pre-teen years of Fallen's past, but for now I think you've got enough idea to know why she doesn't look back with longing. However instead of letting it grow on her and accepting this life, she grew a thicker skin and started plotting her grand escape.

Usually a 12 or 13 year old doesn't need to think about things such as survival in the wild, alternative ways of making money at that age or procedures followed when a kid goes missing. But she took time to sit down and read all about the amber alert, investigating abduction and runaway teens, crossing european country borders and what precautions are taken when doing so. She also read up on dealing with various wounds, hunting, preparing meat to be safely consumed, and last but not least - slipped two thin, illustrated books on mushrooms and wild plants explaining what is poisonous and what is not.

That was one of the last things that ended up in her over-the-shoulder khaki bag before she climbed out the window, intending to never return...

Entry 03: Perks of the rock bottom

I always get this question: Was I scared? I was truly scared to get caught and be brought back to my 'family'. But I wasn't scared of what's 'out there', even though I knew it won't be easy to find food and shelter. I knew I may as well die out here any moment.

But the truth is that regardless of how difficult it would get, I'd rather die trying to make a life away from my kin than return and let them imprison me in their ways, because those people, that house, it was my rock bottom. And I wanted to believe there is more to this life.

But there is something good about hitting the rock bottom - when you're there, it can't get any worse. The only way is up.

There are very few people that I told about where I came from. Very few who know I left that place through the angled window and slipped down the roof above our front door, quietly making it to the ground using balustrade and then into the street using the fence. Even fewer believe that I truly never regretted it afterwards.

However I would lie if I said I never questioned my decision. I remember sitting under a tree one night a couple days later, alone in some kind of forest, cold, hungry, and thinking to myself that maybe it would be better if I just asked for help after all. Called them in for the dirty business, have my father locked up for abuse, ask to be put in a foster care. But still I knew that it's my word against them, and should I try they would get away with everything. They always do.

See, I had the beginning of this escape all figured out. I knew they will not look for me outside of the country unless they have any reason to suspect I went there, but it seemed like I managed to cover my tracks well enough. Lucky for me, security cameras in my town were very few and far between, so I got to the railway and walked my way to another city without having to really try hiding from them. In the morning I planned to get on a bus out the country. I took some time to go into an internet cafe and research which local carrier doesn't list documents on their site as something to bring on board.

A fake letter from a 'parent' claiming I'm headed to my aunt in hand, I bought a ticket for the bus and hit the road 7 a.m. straight. Turns out within Europe they usually don't even check people's documents at the borders, no one even questioned if I'm supposed to be there. I was just that kid in the back of the bus going to visit a made-up aunt that no one looked at twice.

I got off the bus in a city in Czech Republic, assured the bus driver that he doesn't need to worry about me finding my aunt's place and entered the crowd of strangers. 13 year old me in a foreign country, not knowing the tongue, not of legal age, with no one to turn to and clutching the bag that held all the belongings I had left anymore. I didn't know where I would spend the night, I knew that what money I had wouldn't last me for more than a week and a half of buying food, and I didn't even know where I'm headed.

All I knew and cared about at that point was that I'm more free and happier than I've ever been.