Fatal matrimony(Not Completed... Yet)

1. Holding on...and Letting go

(Continued)
I loved where I lived. It was a quiet neighbourhood. After 7pm, you could barely hear anything else other than the whisper of the wind. Or the happy laughter coming from a house or two. Probably the whole family coming round for dinner. Just at the end of the block, we had a small woodland reserve. My family and I have picnics there during summer.

I remember when I was a kid, it used to be my refugee. We weren't supposed to venture too far from the trail but I had discovered a dilapidated swing not far from the trail. Built by God knows whom. It was my favourite place. Where I could actually voice what I was thinking and no one would judge. Where I could get lost in my thoughts and no one would try to drag me back out.

I thought about what my mother said. LEC was a safe harbour. And I could stake a claim without any fear of failing. But that was it. I didn't want to play safe anymore.
I found the swing soon. It was my swing, in a way. It creaked weakly as I sat down and started swinging slowly back and forth, clutching the chains. I looked around. At the trees, at the sun and the nocturnal animals emerging from the depths of the trees, the forest coming to life once again. This was so much like an abode of my own.

Known but soothing. I wanted to hold on to it forever. But I couldn't. There will come a time when reality calls out to me. I will have to leave my old life behind and begin a new one. Maybe away from here. But that didn't mean I wouldn't hold on to it. Some part of this will always remain embedded in me, won't it? Wasn't this the same thing?

Yes, I'm terrified of taking up the job, terrified to be a part of something this huge, terrified that I won't be up to it, terrified of failing. Terrified that embracing something new and unknown would force me to let go of what I did know. But I'm ready now. I can't spend my life in a nutshell just because it is the easier way. I've held on too long and now I need to let go. Let go of the fear and insecurities....

...So I let go. I called them and i accepted the job offer. I called Frederick. Told him how much I had learnt from him, how much I will miss all of them. Finally at peace with myself, I smiled. At no one in particular. It just felt good. I had been too stressed out, debating over what to choose. Well, I didn't really choose. I hold on to the memories but i let go of the fears. I'm not afraid any more. I don't want to be. I am still insecure but eager. Still cautious but testing the limits. Unsure but certain.
A part of me I take along but a part I leave behind as I walk away from my abode and out of the forest, to home.

Hey, guys, I'm Sara. This is my first story and I hope you like it. I know, the stuff is a little too deep and the chapters are long but I want to do this properly. I'm working hard on it and you will enjoy it. The next few chapters might be a little serious but I promise it will be worth it. Thx ;) Xoxo