Beelzebub

Chapter 6

Everything was clear.

Our lives were changing drastically and all I could do was staring the little girl and her bowling shoulder with whimpers.

Blood rushed through my vein with splash of adrenaline.
With clenched fist, I took a deep breath though I could feel the needed air wasn't even sufficient for breathing as her bawlings were making every inch of space suffocated.

I thought to turn away, pretend that I never saw her shaking shoulder,

I never saw her shedding tears,

I never heard her sobs.

But I just couldn't do any of those.

She raised her heads from her knees and looked straight, like she felt that someone had invade her privacy, her own moment of grieving over her dead parents which shouldn't be interfere it.

I gulped the saliva back in my throat because I knew that moment what waz coming.

I knew for a moment that what was gonna happen next will destroy both of us,

Our past,

Our uncertain future.

Her big glassy brown eyes landed on me, looking through my soul back at me with heavily swelled eyelids as my inside was terrified even more than before.

Because she wasn't only staring at me with puffed eyes but also she was seeing someone in me who I wouldn't ever be.

Her saviour.

Not now.

Not ever.

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Closing my eyes for a last time tightly I stepped in the shower, turning it off and taking the folded towl from side cabinet I kneel down in front of her.

Her eyes were capturing my every moment with a emotion, I didn't want to ever see in her eyes for me.

For a person like me.

'you're gonna get cold princess' I said in a composed voice, last thing I wanted her to know how utterly terrified I was at that moment.

She didn't say anything just staring back at me with her brown eyes, making it more difficult for me.

I handed her the towel but all she did was staring my soul with her piercing brown eyes.

I could feel every emotions flowing in her eyes as they forced themselves up from her eyes as a drop run down her cheek.

She was lonely, scared and devastated and at that moment I did the only thing came into my mind but I knew everything I was going to do was solely wrong.

Not for me,

But for her.

I pulled her in my chest as I draped my arms over her tiny body tightly. I didn't want her to be alone because she was too young to tolerate all of this.

But again she had already been suffered beyond imagination.

'It's okay princess, it's okay to cry, I'm here for you' I whispered in her ear trying to sooth her aching heart. She clutched my shirt in her tiny wet grasp as I slowly put the dry towel over her.

'let's get you warm before you get cold.'

She nodded her head in response and picking her up with her legs around my waist and her head rested on my chest I put her on the bed.

She sat silently, she hadn't said one word and I didn't even know what to do. Taking an extra towel from the cabinet I started to dry her hair.

That was feeling somehow different and awkward. I hadn't done that for anyone up until that moment but there I was taking care of a girl whom I didn't even know few days ago.

I was patting her hair dry when she reached for my hand, stopping it from doing it.

'I want to ask you something.' she said so softly looking at me with some determination. My blood drained and my heart beats erratically as I looked at her.

'Are you going gonna leave me?' she asked with quivering voice. Her eyes again welling up but I never missed the fight with tears she was doing.

My eyes refocused somewhere behind her head on my hands. All I saw was red.

Red with blood.

Blood of her parents.

Her destroyed childhood.

My eyes shifted back at her ' You know sweetie the moment I saw you I knew you're a fighter and I promise you'll survive everything.' I mumbled softly and placed a kiss on her forehead.

That was truth, she was indeed a fighter for holding everything up with such a strength. But there was a lie inside of it which was only covered with truth.

The lie was that I was her saviour but in reality all I was a monster in disguise.

A fucking liar because I wasn't sure of both of us will survive this storm in our life.