Strangers

"Who were you talking to?"

"Hello?"

"Hi Kostya." 

"Hi, Kristian. How are you?"

"Wonderful, thanks! Did you have a good night's sleep?"

"yeah, it was good. How about you?"

"Not so much. Thinking about you," Kristian chuckled.

"Haha, I'm always on your mind."

"You'll always be. Am I on yours?"

The hesitation was short, but it didn't stop Kristian from noticing it.

"Of course."

Kristian wasn't sure what to say next, but Kostya came to the rescue.

"And how is Citrus? Is my маленький лимон okay?"

"well, yeah. he threw up a hairball on our carpet..."

"Ew. too much information!"

It was silent for a while.

"Kostya?"

"hm?"

"is there... is there something you're not telling me?"

"What? no!"

"I just... It feels as if you are holding something back."

"I'm not, Kristian. I swear."

"Okay. Just... Let me know if there's anything going on, honey. You can tell me everything."

***

Kostya stared at his phone screen for a while, before turning it off and putting it on the nightstand. He rolled over on his side, meeting a pair of nougat colored eyes.

"Who were you talking to?" Benjamin asked.

"... Someone."

Benjamin raised his eyebrow.

"Are we lovers in secret?" He smiled his signature smile, chocolate waves falling in his face. "How romantic, Kostya."

"It doesn't matter," he murmured.

"Sure?" Benjamin was teasing him.

"Look, you are all that matters now. Can we just forget him right now?"

And that was all Kostya wanted, really. To forget Kristian, to start over with someone new. He knew it was wrong, but it would just last for tonight. It had to.

He leaned over and kissed him, with rough thumbs stroking Benjamin's cheek before moving up to his hair and combing through it. Benjamin moved closer to Kostya, rubbing his body against his. Kostya groaned, and his kisses began adventuring down Benjamin's soft neck and collarbones.

"I love you," the Swede whispered.

Kostya didn't answer. He didn't know how to answer, he just kept on kissing, his actions making him forget but also remember all to well.

***

Kristian stared at his phone, with all kinds of feelings roaring through him. Kostya had sounded so sweet, so sincere, but something made his stomach turn, and made him have horrible doubts.

He had heard a voice before Kostya began talking. Just a low, deep voice, from far away but still fairly close, asking if he could use the shower. Kristian had spent an eternity trying to place it, it sounded so familiar. 

At first he thought it was Artem, but Kristian knew Artem was in another hotel room, and Kostya wasn't the "let's have a platonic sleepover!" kind of guy. The more he thought about it, the more Kristian realized. Kostya had definitely spent the night with another man, someone who definitely wasn't Artem. But who was it? The question gnarled at the back of his head, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't get it out.

***

It was as if the twilight came even earlier this night. Kostya rubbed his eyes with the palm of his hand. This was one of his few nights that he didn't perform, and yet he was wasting it with his new fuck buddy. 

The guilt and regrets wore him down, he couldn't sleep, couldn't distract himself, just feel the pain.

He was so drunk that he thought bringing Benjamin home would be a good idea. What was he thinking? What if someone saw them? Should he tell Kristian this?

No. It would break his heart even more. Kostya knew it would hurt Kristian like hell, and Kostya couldn't stand that. 

Seeing someone suffer, and suffering at the sight, Kostya thought. Is that what is called love? Or empathy?

Kostya was so sure he didn't love Kristian. He was certain they were going to break up soon. What was holding him back? Fear? Artem's words? Kristian's feelings being hurt? Or was he, deep down, still in love? In love with the most entitled, selfish, childish, annoying, wonderful, beautiful, fulfilling person in the world?

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Sorry I forgot to upload yesterday! I am sick right now :( I'll keep uploading every week from now on!

I hope you enjoyed this chapter, please give it a vote! What do you think will happen next?