Waiting for Anpanman

CHAPTER 15: Here I Go

“I'm back!” Yoongi announced as he entered their apartment.

“I'm in the kitchen! It's just you and me for dinner, Yoongi-yah!” Jin called out, implying that Yoongi join him.

“Where did everybody go?” Yoongi inquired as he took a seat at the kitchen counter, watching his hyung go about his cooking.

“Joonie, Hopie, and Jiminie had personal businesses to attend to. Sooie, Hyungie, and Kookie went on an a day trip to Itaewon. Oh. What's with that face?”

“Sooie?” Disbelief tugged at Yoongi's facial features. This was definitely the first time he heard that nickname. Why was everyone inching closer and closer to Lee Yoonsoo, except him? He felt like he was being left out. Wasn't he supposed to be the closest member to him? He knew a whole lot of things about the singer that the others wouldn't even dream of considering. “Why didn't they invite me?” Yoongi whined.

“You had an important meeting today, remember? Mwo? You feeling jealous? Say ah.” Before he could rebut Seokjin's accusation, a slice of egg roll with ham and cheese flew into his mouth – forcing him to chew to break the thing into smaller pieces before he could speak his mind.

“ Jealous!? Why would I be jealous!? Oh, please! It’s actually good that only the adults are home. Finally some peace and quiet!” Yoongi talked over his food. Eyebrows scrunched together and his lips curving downward unconsciously, he reached over the table to grab another piece of egg roll to stuff his mouth with.

“Says the frowning baby. It’s obvious that you’re upset about the outing the young ones are having. Yah! Chew your food properly! You’ll choke!”

“Stop saying nonsense, Hyung!”

“There’s nothing wrong about being jealous. Joon and Taehyung get jealous all the time. They get upset when their best friends spend too much time with someone else.”

“But… what if….”

“Yes?”

“Nothing. It’s nothing.” Yoongi grabbed another piece of egg roll and a whole kimbap before move off the counter. He was going to head to his studio but before he even left his chair completely, Jin lightly grabbed his wrist.

“Min Yoongi! Talk to me. Something is obviously bothering you. Your hyung is here for you.” Yoongi’s gaze was met with Jin’s very concerned one. Everybody in the group knew that Yoongi kept all his troubles to himself and pretended to be strong in front of the others. It wasn’t healthy and Jin worried that Yoongi might be going through something serious again.

Taking a deep breath, Yoongi sat back down and considered his options. Jin had always been like a confidante to him. In the past, he was comforted by the fact that Jin had always been there to listen to him. But now, something about this issue that he was having felt scary. He had supported the pride movement openly but actually experiencing having to come out to his hyung felt strangely intimidating to Yoongi.

“What if… you were gay and you felt jealous because of someone you thought of as close to you?” Yoongi spoke in an even tone, looking Jin in the eye with dead seriousness.

“You are simply jealous. Being jealous doesn’t have anything to do with gender roles. But… do you mean you?”

“I’m not sure… I’m just jealous that the boys are closer to him than me when I’m his bunk mate.”

“Hmm… Slight… But not necessarily gay. Let’s check.”

“O… okay.”

“How would you feel if I suddenly kissed your cheek or lips right now?”