Unhappy ~ Lashton Hemwin - Book One ✔

ten

A/N: Trigger warning. (If you ever need someone to talk to, just inbox me, okay? Anytime)

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I had another panic attack today. I couldn't breathe, my whole body was shaking, and I felt so lightheaded I thought that I was going to passout.

I started thinking about the future and what was going to happen, a million 'what if's' running through my mind.

What if Michael secretly hates me?
What if my mum comes back?
What if one day I slip something out to my dad about liking boys?
What if I fail all my tests and don't make it into college?
What if?

I picked up my blade today, journal.

I drug the shiny metal against my skin lightly and watched as the crimson liquid pooled against my tan skin.

After making nearly twenty new lines on my scarred arm I set the razor down, took some sleeping pills, and laid down before picking up this journal.

I don't count that as self harming, I barely broke the skin. 

I am still three months clean.

But I am still unhappy.

A.I