MAJOR

MAJOR|15|

MAJOR

I'm here at the beach with Imani and Nigel for a little while. We've been here for a while so we should be leaving soon. We're having so much fun though. We got Nigel snapping pictures of us and all. I know he can't wait to leave.

"When we leave we getting some food right?" Imani asks. I nod my head and rub my belly. "You ok baby?" Nigel asks wrapping his arms around me. I nod my head yes but I just feel these sharp ass pains in my stomach that's getting worst.

It hurts so bad I can't even stand anymore. I feel myself almost falling into the water but with Nigel's arms around me he doesn't let that happens. I feel my eyes start to water and all. This pain is really unbearable. "Maj! What's wrong baby?!" Nigel yells.

"Major!" Imani yells as she cries. I feel so much blood gushing out of me it's ridiculous. "Damn baby. Fuck!" Nigel yells as he carries me in his arms. I close my eyes wishing the pain would go away. I don't remember shit after this.

-

NIGEL

We sitting here in the hospital room while Major sleeps in the bed. I'm so hurt that she had to go through that, Major is a good person. They say everything happen for a reason but I just wanna know the reason. This shit is something that'll fuck her up for life.

We was so happy. We couldn't wait to find out what we was having. "She still asleep?" The doctor asks after walking in. I nod my head. Her mama and daddy sitting in the other two chairs and Imani laying next to her in the bed sleep.

She loves her big sister and Ciyon ain't get here yet. "Alright. Well I'm pretty sure you guys are under the influence that Ms.Johnson here miscarried." We all nod our heads.

"We haven't found any drugs or liquor in her system at all. And by the looks of her and her weight she stays very healthy. We can't quite put our finger on what caused the miscarriage but we will keep running tests until we figure out what it's exactly the problem." She says. "Okay Thank you." Her mama says.

By this time Major is awoke just staring into space. "You okay baby?" Her mama asks and stands and walks over to her. She shakes her head no. Her mom kisses her forehead.

"We gone leave you and Nigel here alone baby. I love you." She says kissing her cheek. Her daddy comes over and gives her a kiss too. "Imani get up." They dad says and literally picks her teenage ass up and holds her in his arms like a baby.

That shit don't make no sense. They spoiled the fuck out of they kids. "I'm so sorry. I love you baby." I say laying in the bed with her and pulling her to me as she cries. "Everything go be alright." I say rubbing her back. She has her face in my neck while tears soak me and my shirt.

This shit is so unbelievable. The worst things happen to the best people ever. Seriously. "I'm here you know that right?" I say as tears fall from my eyes. She nods her head yeah. "I ain't ever turning my back on you." I mumble kissing her neck.

I know we ain't ever supposed to question god but why us? We doing everything just about right. I know we are but rainy days don't last forever.

Ciyon walks in looking sad as ever. He sees Major crying and comes over to the bed. I stand up and he daps me up. "I'm sorry bruh." He says and then hugs me. I'm in here crying hard as a muthafucka. This shit hurt so bad. I go sit down in the chair and watch him lay next to his sister and wrap his arms around her.

"I love you baby." He says kissing her forehead. She cried herself to sleep.. I hate to see her like this. This some pain a woman should never ever have to go through. Maybe we was moving to fast and should've took our time and it was a sign.

God works in mysterious ways and that's on my momma. I close my eyes and just sit back and think about everything that been going on in my life. Shit Been so bad down here lately. Don't nobody know what I'm going through.

Nobody she struggle they just see the reward. I wanna give up so bad mane, I can't though. I got some people that depend on me. They don't know what I'm going through.

-
MAJOR

It's been two days since I lost my baby. I've taken it better than I thought I would have to be honest. I feel like it was a sign telling me that I wasn't ready. Telling me that my daddy was right. I moved too fast with Nigel. I have my whole life in front of me.

Even though I hated for someone to tell me that. How you gone tell me I'm not ready, how the fuck you know what I'm ready to do? My hurt hurting. I loved my baby, even though he or she wasn't here yet.. I'll never ever forget this.

I promise this some shit that'll never sit right with me. I wonder why though? I was doing everything just right. Eating right. Drinking water and everything, I was even taking my vitamins. It's some shit I'll never understand. God works in some mysterious ways on him.

My mama always told me that rainy days don't last forever. Shit has been horrible. I swear I been going through it.

I can't believe I'm not pregnant anymore. I can't believe I'm not gonna be able to hold my son or my daughter in my arms and kiss him or her all over and just be in love. All over again. I'm hurting.

This makes me scared to even get pregnant again. I was stressed out. My mind was everywhere and I wasn't happy with myself.

I know I'm not supposed to question god, but why me?