All My Stars Shine For You

Dear Jace,

I never considered telling how I feel. Maybe if I kept my feelings locked up, they'd go away. But when it comes to you, I can't ignore a fluttery feeling in my chest, and the urge to either run away or stay until the stars die.

I imagine a perfect date. We could go out for dinner and chat, joke around. Then go see a movie - clearly one based off of comics, because you already know I'm a huge nerd. This would just be two friends, hanging out together, each in love with the other but never saying. Always fearing something leaden with emotions could break the spell we had surrounded ourselves with, peace and happiness and friendship.

I can't believe I'm writing this again.

But I want you to know that you're my everything. But it's true: you're the first thing I think of in the morning, you're in the air I breathe and the blood beating inside me. The you I see in snatches of time when it's just us, the two of us.

This sounds weird. I promise I'm not a stalker.

Maaaaybe.

Just kidding.

What I'm trying to ask is...

Will you go on a date with me?

We would go to the zoo, first, of course. Where we first officially met - I remember you had been "knocked over" into the enclosure where they were keeping the cats at the petting zoo. We both know you just wanted to run your delicate fingers through their silky fur. (Oh god I already know I'm not sending this.) Then dinner at Santiago's Diner where we've spent time hiding away from the rest of the world. The movie theater - seats J7 and J8 as always.

At a scary part, I might shrink into your arms and hide away like I've done so many times before. Maybe you'd hug me back.

We would step outside and go to Runner's Hill, grateful for no blinding sunlight but simply the twinkle of stars whispering their opinions on our epic romance. We'd talk for hours about anything and everything. Classes, books, tv shows, YouTube, food - whatever. I'd stand up to go home but feel you grab my wrist and pull me down. I'd fall and glance up at you, in whatever cliche intimate position we were in. And you'd pull me into your arms and confess that I was your everything, you were mine and I was yours and we were each others and together forever.

They say you can't see the light if there's no darkness, and trust me, there's a lot of darkness. But you're a blazing star in the center of my galaxy, and I'd be your star, too. I'd be a whole universe of stars, for you. And all my stars would shine for you.

I'll think of you as I slide this into the paper shredder and watch these words rip apart into pieces. But I'll whisper the most important thing:

I love you. I love you. I love you.

Yours, now and forever,

Sophie