Penhallow

VIII

Killing doesn’t get easier the more you do it. But it became normal to me. You don’t even have to have a motive. When you feel like it, you do it. And the more you do it, the frequent is the urge to do it. My fifth victim was Rebecca Shaw. I killed her because I had enough of her. She was becoming an annoyance more and more. At first it was funny. Not anymore. Seeing her irritated me to death, just a waste of space on earth. And I wanted to do the earth good by removing its trashes. I should have applied as a member of Justice League. For sure I will be accepted with open arms and legs. I decided to be more creative this time around. Playing with fire is what I love the most. What is life without the thrill of danger? The obvious are best hidden in plain sight and so I decided to stage her murder in a busy place. Marc’s party was the perfect set. And I had the alibi of babysitting a 3 years old kid.
That night I sneaked out while Mickey was sleeping. I did put some sleeping powder on his food. By quarter to five I was ready to go. I made my way to Marc’s house by walking. I had to avoid being seen. It was a 20 minutes’ walk. I left my bike at little Mickey’s house. I arrived at Marc’s house at exactly 5:10. People were coming in and out of Marc’s house but I stayed out of sight. It was lucky that his house was covered with trees and they had a big garden. It was also situated on the very edge of the town just beyond the wooded area. Hiding was a piece of cake. I made my way on the back and squirmed my way inside the fences. Backyards sure are helpful. Since we were in a remote town, security was low. It was only these days that they heighten the security around the town. But it was still not enough. They didn’t have much manpower for patrol and security devices were not in fashion. Backyards served as a welcome door for crimes.  I saw a couple of people standing a couple of yards away, talking. I was wearing a hoodie and I somewhat fitted in. I carefully turned my face away and made the opposite turn. I entered the main house via the kitchen and locked myself in a restroom I downstairs. I’d been at Marcus house before so I knew my way. I did study my subject well. I texted Rebecca with an unknown number, using an untraceable phone, telling her to meet me upstairs. Alone. I used Gray’s name as bait. And she took it. When it came to Gray, she always lost her senses and decency. Who would when your crush finally took and interest in you? I did observe Rebecca for quite some time and I know her weaknesses. Observing people is a habit of mine and quite useful in times of need. As well as in finding their weaknesses. And Rebecca was stupid enough to fall for that. In case she didn’t, I was ready for a ‘mission abort’ situation and wait for the next opportunity.
I made my way upstairs by 5:30 making sure that no one was inside the house at the moment. It was at the peak of the party and everyone was in the garden. I entered the second room on the left as I specifically told Rebecca. This was Wilfred’s room, Marc’s brother. He was studying at a university outside the town and only came back home during breaks. I knew it would be empty and unlocked. I waited inside sitting on the bed. I wouldn’t be hiding behind the doors this time. Rebecca entered after seven minutes. She was confused to see me there but did not suspect me. Who would? She asked me what was I doing there and I pretended to be waiting for someone. Her confusion grew and she demanded for me to leave. She told me she was waiting for someone and I had no business being there. Ouch.  That was my cue. I stood up pretending to leave but stopped in front of her. Without warning I punched her hard in the face. She flew back and fell down on the floor. Before she could react, I was on top of her. She attempted to scream but only managed a little squeak, my hand clasping her mouth. I punched her again in the side of her head. Her hear lolled to the other side dazely. My punches were hard, I knew. I was self-practicing boxing and martial arts in my room since 14. I was not professionally trained and professionally skilled but I was pretty much decent. Just some hard work paying off. I was still practicing even now.
I took that opportunity to gag her while she was still groggy with my punches. I dragged her to the bed and tied her on the bedpost. She struggled against me a little but to no avail. I was just too strong. Her thin model frame was no help. I brought my things with me- clothes and knife (some knife from little Mickey’s kitchen).  I locked the door first before returning for the main event. I removed her of her clothes, not enjoying the view, but it would be better. She was staring at me with horrified eyes that turned to begging when she saw the knife in my hands. Tears filled her eyes. Did she finally realize that it was me who killed the other Loreen and Mr. Jerkins? I doubt it. She was more famous with her body than her intelligence. I guessed all she could think about now was all about her and me. What was I about to do to her? I didn’t know what came over me that night. I was only planning to stab her quickly and be done with it. But seeing her there, so helpless and weak, my blood lust literally skyrocketed. Like a drug, I was on high. I suddenly wanted to break her first. Wanted to see her in pain before she died. I stabbed her then. Repeatedly. Slowly. Cutting her here and there and everywhere. She was crying and screaming with muffled sound, the gag preventing her. It was euphoric. And for the moment I lost control as I continued to stab her. It was so intense and I was so focused with my own pleasure that it took a long time for me to realize she was already dead. I stopped midway in stabbing her stomach. I was breathing heavily, the high slowly fading. I looked down at myself to see I was covered with blood. Nearly as much as Rebecca. She was drowning in her own blood, the bed soaking with it. And there were splashes on the carpet and the walls. I grimaced, what a mess. Thank goodness she brought some extra clothes.
I removed my hoodie placing the bloody knife inside. I searched for Rebecca’s phone to clear the message I sent, when I was done, I removed some of the blood in my arms before unlocking the door. My blood covered gloves staining the knob but I couldn’t remove it. I didn’t bother leaving Rebecca one last look before exiting by the windows. I already overstayed her welcome. In my state of clothing (painted red), I couldn’t risk accidentally bumping into someone. Wilfred’s room was located on the back (it was no coincidence) and it made my descent more easily. I stopped first on a bathroom downstairs near the back, locking the door, to change clothes. When I was sure I was presentable enough (meaning not soaking with blood), I covered her hair with a cap and was about to exit when the doorknob of the bathroom rattled a little. I stilled, not moving, not even breathing until I heard the person outside moving away from the bathroom. I hastily made my way out through the windows. I exited without further trouble. Just when I was halfway to the wood I heard an unmistakably scream of terror. That was fast. I walked faster.
As my body was hurting from exhaustion, I made my way towards Mickey’s house. Seeing him still sleeping, I took a shower first to remove the final signs of crime and change to another set of clothes I originally wore before leaving. I dried my hair with Linda’s (Mickey’s mother) blower, returning it in the exact spot. On my way back here, I hid my blooded clothes carefully to be disposed later. I washed the knife before returning it to its place in the kitchen. To think that it will still be used to cut meat later on….  Ewww. When I returned upstairs I saw to Mickey’s bedroom, I saw four missed calls from Gray. After a moment, it began ringing again. I just let it as I made my way beside Mickey to lie down. I closed my eyes for a moment. Safe.

When you kill someone, it was not the conscience of killing them that hunts you down. It was the memory of their death. When you killed someone, there was this feeling of paranoia that you will be caught. And you get scared. But you have to learn to live with it. And you will. And when you do, there was nothing more terrifying. When Jenzy died, I stopped killing. Not because I lost the urge. But things had gotten busy and I was so focused in my current life. I never had the opportunity to do so and there was no one at the moment that needed my special attention.
I’ve been with Gray for more than two years now. Gray had been with me along the way. We both became each other’s support when Jenzy died, and the next thing we knew, we fell in love with each other. We decided to study in the same University and move in a flat just near its vicinity. Gray’s not a perfect boyfriend. Yes, he is lovable, smart, sweet, loyal, caring... but he is also bossy (which clashes with my personality), overbearing and could sulk more than a six years old. I love him.  We suited each other perfectly. Sometimes it was like, he knew me more than I ever knew myself. And I can see the he loves me too. Very much in fact. Life had been good to me, for someone like me. Until now.
I stared now at the person in my bed. Can I do it? Kill him? Would I? He can easily overpower me. And I don’t think I can escape this time, not when both our parents knew we were together tonight.  But I always had an overactive imagination, surely I can pull it off…? He can easily overpower me though since he’s bigger and much stronger… I guess. Looking at him now, with his handsome face frozen in shock, my heart softened a bit. I give my head a shook. No. Not him too. Never Gray. I’m into him too deeply. Not this time. We can talk it out. He did say he love so surely he will understand? Yes! I’ll convince him to keep it a secret between the two of us. We will have to work it. If not…
I took a step toward him ready to make him understand, but he suddenly closed his mouth and smiled. At me. Sweetly. Gray’s signature killer sweet smile. I stopped. Instinctively.
He slowly closed the sketch pad, waving it in front of me and he stood. “For such a killer, you sure are sloppy baby. You should avoid doing stuffs like this to begin with. Otherwise Jenzy would still be alive.”
I froze.
I did not kill Jenzy.