Abandoned by the Void

Suicide attempt

In about early 2012 i still had no friends what so ever and my mom would get drunk and yell at me every night.

Until one night i couldnt take. i took a knife and pointed straight at her and threatened to kill (no i didnt) i still remember the fear in her eyes a horrible memory i cannot forget about it. i put the knife down and ran back to my room and cried my eyes out realizing what i did. 

The next day my mom to me to a MH (mental hospital) for what i did the previous night and i didnt blame her. i spent 4 years in there with no one to talk to and nothing to do i made no friends and no one wanted to get in contact with me. I had to be locked in a padded room because back then when they locked me in a normal room i would hit my head against the wall. i was officialy crazy. i went a whole month without talking or doing anything and i was going crazy

i would talk to myself yhave conversations with myself and even try befriending myself i realized a few days after the sooner i straighten up the better and the sooner i got out so i did i was able to be locked in a regualr room again and a short 3 months later i was released. i remember when i was first released i barely remembered how to talk.

the same day i was released i got home and nothing was said between me and my mom just glares at each other once and awhile. I remmeber i started talking to her again and it was nothing but arguments 

One day i again had enough. i grabbed the knife again but forgot to lock my door and stabbed myself twice right in the stomach im glad i wasnt any stronger. after about 10 minutes of losing blood my mom found m epassed out on the floor and i was rushed to hospital.

i would stay at the hospital for a month and eventually came back home and ever since then me and my mom have gotten along great.