I sometimes look at my scarred arms
And ask myself why.
Then I remember.
It was the only way I could cry.
I felt nothing but numbness
For years on end.
No one around me;
Sorrow was my only friend.
She made me feel safe.
She made me feel strong.
She made me do things
That people say is wrong.
Like that touch of silver
Leading to the scarlet flood.
That comforting sting
That downpour of blood.
Oh, that sweet smoke
Filling up my lungs.
Can't feel the pain any longer;
Tied up tongues.
That wonderful feeling
Where soul meets heart
If only I knew
It was what was tearing me apart.
She made me hold on
To her when it was dark.
She sang painful songs to me
Like a dying lark.
She told me that all I needed
Was her to hold me.
She never let me smile
She never set me free.
Even today
She sits in the shadows for me
She sits so patiently
Like a dark entity.
She waits and she waits
Until the time feels right
She waits and she waits--
I can never put up a fight.
For she has a hold on my neck
She has me wrapped around her finger.
I really wonder
How long will her curse linger?
Maybe forever.
Maybe just today.
All I know is
She cannot stay.
No matter how warm she makes me feel,
No matter how she strangles me,
I need to run away from her;
I need to set myself Free.
I will be the lark
That comes back to life.
I will be the lark
Who can't be cut with a knife.
I can fight this.
I know you can too.
We can do this.
I know it's true.
