1,000 ways to say goodbye

a call out to cancer

" Your going. and stop trying to fight about it! you need more friends and this is a great way to find somebody." My mom said driving me to the hospital again. that day that mom tried to hook me and joe together was 3 days ago. And that never happened. I just sat at home and watched a movie called "Juno".

" I don't want to, plus I have friends."

" the lady's at the daycare you work for doesn't count. Please just do this for me?  Please?"

I rolled my eyes. I don't want to go to a "cancer support" for cancer survivors or patients. It sound like a loud of crap to me. I went thre once when I was 10 and we went to chucky cheeses for the first time, I met a boy named will, he had thyroid cancer and he died shortly after.  I would go every week for about a month or so, then one time we had to go to the graveyard and gave flowers for all of those who died of cancer. All I remeber from that trip was seeing Wills grave and putting flowers next to it.  Thats when I stoped going. I just don't do well with deaths, just thinking about someday we will all be dead and those people have already seen the light. It just scared me. Also becasue the teacher was so hyper and happy all the time and encouraged us to be happy even though we could die any day now.

" fine." I grunted. "I just dont want to make friends cause I know that one day I will break there hearts, and I dont want to grow up with myself not being able to see them. Its just to hard. and if I.make a friend and break there heart or something I am completely blaming it on you."

" theres my girl." she said patting me on the back, " what did your father say?'' she said with a straight face, barley caring

" well he's coming a couple of days before the surgery so we can bond. "

" yeah sure, his type of bonding is sitting on your butt and watching a movie or football. Yeah such bonding." She said annoyed. She was really disgusted with my dad when he cheated, plus there marriage was going great and there was really no reason for him to cheat. But then again I'm not really close with either of them and they both have different sides of the story.

***

" hello! I'm Jim. I have worked here for over 13 years and I love it. I also  survived cancer." Jim said. he was your basic man who plays videogames in his parents basement all day long and does this cancer organizations for money. I will spare you the old story of Jim, he found cancer in his stomach.  lost his wife and dog because he became poor of all the treatment. Also he apparently can't pee right anymore. I have no idea why but frankly that was to much information.

We had to go around saying what are name was, what kind of cancer we have/had and after we were going to go see a movie. Probably some boring movie that seriously no one wants to sit through. But we go anyway cause it's free.

" Hi, I'm Liz and I have breast cancer. I was diagnosed when I was 14 and it has spread to my lungs. But I'm fighting. and my biggest fear is not being able to see the world cause the doctor says I only have about 3 more years to.live." Liz said, she was pretty and had no.reason to have cancer.

" alright who wants to go next?" jim said. Without hesitation, I instantly raised my hand with my black nail polish. " yeah go Aalilaya." he said. I stood up and stuffed my hands in my pocket.

" Hi, I'm Aalilaya. I'm 16 and I have leukemia and ocular cancer. I was diagnosed when I was 7. and my biggest fear is not being able to see, there's so much I want to see but can't. I already lost some sight in my right eye and I'm going bli nd in my left. Also I'm afraid I won't be able to get my song." I said. and sat back down, they clapped. But one boy just sat in a chair a cross the room with his ray bands on and just sat there depressed. I looked at him, I don't know if he was looking at me but I think he was. then the brightest smile lite up on his face. He stood up and introduced himself.

" Hi, I'm Francis. I'm 17 and I had ocular cancer, about a year ago. I had surgery when I was 9 to get my left eye taken care of, and then when I was 14 I had the other replaced. Now I am completely blind. And my biggest fear in life, is to not be excepted. and Aalilaya, I know how you feel. and it really is.no big deal. I don't even remember what my parents look like and I'm perfectly fine." he said sitting back down, a boy next to him helped him sit down, he was completely bald and was also Waring Ray bands. Francis s friend stood up,

" hey, I'm  Leo, I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer at the age of 3, then I won last year. and my biggest fear is to have a world that no one cares about us. " we clapped. I was still staring at Francis though, he was interesting. He can't see but he's surprisingly happy. I wanted to be like him, having a happy apeal on the world.

***

The movie was Ok, but it wasnt amazing. I sat next to Francis. He didnt talk to me at all. But I talked to him, and I could tell he was listening. He was sweet, and very cute. 

***

" Do you want to go take a walk in the park?" He said to me on the bus ride back to the support center. His voice was diffrent, more sensire.

" sure." I said.

We walked around, he told me about his family, how his parents just had another child. I also talked about mself, how my parents got devorced and my stepmom had another child. He listened. But it wasnt until we sat under the tree did he make sense. 

" Have you build your world yet?" he asked me, I turned to him confused. 

''what do you mean?" 

" when you loose your sight, you start to loose intrest in the world around you." he said playing with a leaf on the ground. I wonder if he still remebers what they look like. " So you build a world in our head and your stick is your paintbrush."

" I have not." I said trying not to look at him.

You want to know what my world is Aalilya ?" He said paticently waiting for my response. I nodded quickly remebering my stupididty and his blindness. 

" Yes."

" Its hard to see it without living in it. But let me tell you something." He said shifting his body toward me. " Your the most beatuyfull thing in it." He Wispered. It stunned me that he said this, one his blind and has no idea what I look like and he called me beautiful. That just put my selfestem on a rollercoaster that only goes up.

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Hello Fellow wattpadians. Eevn though noone reads this book I just wanted to say hi! And thatnks for reading. More to come

BYEE

morden_hunter