Moment of truth. We're really, really disappointed in all of you right now. We asked for dedication and to have the task completed in time, but out of twenty-eight contestants we only got ten who stayed dedicated. Honestly, I think at some point I was like fuck this, but because there was still a handful of people who managed to enter their entries I couldn’t do that to you all. So, Veronica and I finally got around to putting up our reviews – it was a bit delayed because one of us was on vacation, I apologize for that now.
Please note, because of the lack of entries, we decided this is the first and last round for Super Helga. There isn’t a point to go through. But, the winners will be announced three days from now. That way everyone will have a chance to read their critiques before we move on.
Alright, good luck to everyone. If you think we come out a bit harsh, then please remember that was the whole point in this competition. You need to take a step from the place you are standing and move on to something better, but that will only happen if you understand what you did wrong and what you did right.
If you ever need any help, just let us know and we’ll gladly try our best!
--
Review for @lifeiskillingme
Honestly, the story lacked of descriptions. You weren’t able to describe the little things like the emotions and the feelings your character was going through. It didn’t draw us in at all, I’m sorry. We really would have loved more descriptions, it’s how a story develops in a reader’s views. You should’ve shown more than you told. For example, when you tell us how the person is afraid to go out because she’s afraid of peoples’ reaction – we want you to show us that. Not only would it have been longer, but it would have held that bit of passion in your writing. Veronica’s way: “I got nervous, my fingers slowly tracing my cheeks - which were hot like a summer night. Would they laugh of me? Would they glare? I wasn’t sure. Glancing on myself in the mirror, I couldn’t stop myself from feeling insecure.”
Description, it’s important. A reader needs to feel like they are that person and not just someone reading a few lines and not being able to relate or think what it would be like to be the character. Yet, there was something that stood out, and it was the way you described why she was scared, but maybe you could show us the next time.
Your lesson on Super Helga: Show more than you tell. Use your point of view, imagine yourself in your character’s shoes and then write.
Also, I think we had made it clear it should be at least 1K words and I don’t think yours hadn’t even reached 600. Please make sure to read the rules carefully next time. We let it go this one time, but you should be careful.
---
Review for @IamSiobhan
We can truly say this was one good short story. Your writing drew us in with only the first line. We would suggest checking the grammar errors, but we all do that, and even after trying to find a fault we can’t manage to. It was very well written and you managed to describe everything so perfectly even when you were writing in a character’s POV. That’s a hard thing to do, but you managed anyway. Especially with the scene when they’re in the car. It dragged us right in and made us curious about, well everything. That’s a good thing. You caught the reader’s attention immediately and that’s a hard thing to do, especially with only a few words. It hooked us right in and that’s what readers like. Your writing style was also very nice, there was something missing but I, Zain, cannot point my finger on it right now.
Your lesson on Super Helga: We think there is still a possibility for the story to be even better, but at the moment we can only give you advice. Maybe try putting your hand with writing in third person. It’s a bit hard, I admit, but we do think that you should at least try and see what it takes you. With writing in third person I feel like you have a bigger ability with describing your story. Just a suggestion!
YOU ARE READING
Super Helga Competition
Cerita PendekWelcome to Super Helga Competition! Entries have now been closed as the first round has started, but that doesn't mean the journey ends here! You can still hang around and see if we have something special for you on the way! Amazing cover is by haIc...