Sleeping With Insomnia (EDITING)

Sleeping With Insomnia

Oscar slept soundlessly, with a nonchalant appearance on his heart warming face while me, his murderous partner, tightens the grip on her cradled legs as the moon beats down on her ever-growing pale face.

"I should sleep. I should sleep," the words repeat themselves out of my robotic mouth. I closed my eyes. Just for a second, and slowly laid my head down upon my pillow.

"What a heartless bitch! Look at yourself! Can you really live with yourself after doing such a terrible deed on your own daughter. One week old!"

My daughter was placed in my arms, smothered purple and blue. Twisted limbs, in an unimaginable position in which no human being could do. I did this. I had brutally murdered my week old baby girl Delilah. The sudden screech of the baby made me leap out of my skin and drop the child causing the voice to return in much more than anger now. Rage.

"You fucking bitch! Look at her!"

I felt my face being tugged towards the remains of the baby's body.

"Look at her whore!"

Tears washed down my face as I looked upon a skeletal shape. Blood pooled around me and I suddenly began sinking into it like quick sand.

"You killed her! You fucking killed her! Now who's on your side to help you! Murderer! Ugly fucking cow! Go to hell!"

My screams echoed through out the loft apartment as I bolted up right.

"Honey! Honey calm down! Fran, I'm here baby."

Blood was still bleached into my eyes, along with the image of my baby etched into my memory and that's when the uncontrollable sobs bellowed out of the remaining air in my lungs. I felt warm hands pull me to a body. Spluttering and choking, I buried my face into the body of my partner and released my emotion. The hands pulled me in, for a sense closure, but nothing was going to bring back Delilah. Delilah.

"Os-car," I managed to gurgle, "s-sh-she's gone!"

My weeping grew again, along with the heaving in my shoulders. Hushes coukd only just be heard through my cries, but they began to settle as the sound soothed the cocoon I was possessed in. I looked up towards Oscar to see a strong, confident man with tears skimming his bronzed, well cut cheeks.

"I know. Francesca, I wish I could make it all go away and bring our girl back. I really wish I could," he cradled me against his bare skin, "but we can only pray she has been lead into the stars and will shine brighter than any of the others."

I let my hand adventure to find his and squeezed it in comfort, which I did not have. He was looking out the bedroom window, to the stars of those deceased. I prayed for all those who had been lost. I prayed for Delilah. I prayed that hell wouldn't take me and would understand why I killed Delilah. Oscar's eyes had shut and he was leaning against his pillow, tired from my outburst. Too afraid to fall asleep again, I let my mind wonder around our apartment and waited until the rose and gold of dawn shone upon our window.