I Need You

Chapter 5

And when I arrived home... that's when I started to bawl.

He used to be my life. Literally. I didn't have as much to be thankful for, but I had a Harry. And that Harry was my everything. He was always there to cheer me up; the one that was always by my side and made such cheesy jokes that I always made be stupidly laugh at. And I know, I was his everything, too. But that had changed once he entered the world of fame and glory. I suddenly became a dead fish to him. You know once a fish dies.. you usually don't cry over it, but you just realize time has passed and the fish had to move on, in its own direction (in his/her case, death). That's similar to my story with Harry right now. Yeah, I don't make sense..

I get he tried to apologize and felt bad about it. But how can someone forgive someone who just left their best friend behind (and be reluctant to speak to her) for three entire years? One thousand ninety five days, to emphasize the point. 

And the worst part is that he was meeting up with other girls. I don't care that management might of set that all up, it hurts. It really does. When he told me this, I swear I heard my heart cripple and shatter into billions of pieces. And don't get me wrong, I wasn't jealous. I just thought him and I had something special. He used to treat me like I was the only girl in the world, in his world. But now he lives in a new world.. where there's super models, singers, dancers, actresses that are far by prettier than me; having a better chance with him. (Okay, maybe I'm a tad bit jealous). And they're probably stored in his mind, too. And he knows what he wants. And what he wants, he gets. Common, he's Harry Styles.

I'm tired of this. Of over thinking. I grabbed a box of tissues and sat down on my mini-sofa and just let my eyes do the working. I don't know how many hours it has been, but I allowed my eyes to let out all the emotions that swirled up inside me, this past night and a bit from the past three years *ahem* 94,608,00 seconds *ahem*

A sudden knock on my door caused me to jump.

I walked carefully and glance into the peek hole to find Louie (a.k.a. nickname for Louis).

I opened the door to find Harry standing a few feet away.

I was about to shut the door in front of their faces, but Louie put his foot in between, just a second before the door would close. I wasn't going to speak. I just left them there and walked back into my living room and ate away at my green tea ice-cream. They followed inside about two minutes later, however.
I dared to take a glance and noticed something that caught me off guard.. Harry was still crying. His eyes were pink and swollen. He looked far worse than me.

Did he care? I don't know why, but a split second after they sat down on the two puffy chairs near the sofa, I lost it. I started to tear, again.

Finally breaking the horrid silence, Louie tried to listen the mood, "Common guys, turn those frowns upside down."

But none of us didn't, none of us listened. We were too distracted by our thoughts. You could even say that we were too weak to even plaster a third of a smile.

Louie started again, "Look, Carly.. We came here to talk to you.. To work this out."

I didn't say anything. I just wasn't able to put any words together. I couldn't even form a sentence.

I jumped up in my seat when Harry's voice spoke, "Carly, I know I'm the last person you want to hear from now. But hear me out, again. I-uh, I know I was stupid for all that I've done. I shouldn't have made any excuses.. I don't know why fame mattered more to me at the moment. But it did, I got to admit that. But yesterday, when I saw you again, I felt like I was my old self again. My real self, actually. I missed you Carly and I hope you missed me."

I got surprised when my mouth blabbered, "I missed you, too."

Harry spoke again, "I want you to know that I'm not here to make myself feel less guilty or just to, uh get this off my chest. But, I want to make amends. I know it might be not be the same, again. Heck, nothing will be the same anymore. I want us to be friends. I want to make it up to you. I want you to know that I still care."

I got so infuriated and taunted, "Harry, do you honestly think that I'm just going to forget about this? That I'm just going to ignore everything that has happened in the past three years? And especially, the possibility of appearing in your life until the better offer shows up? If you do, then you're wrong, you're completely wrong. I don't want this, anymore. I don't want to get involved with you."

Harry stiffened, "D-Do you really mean that?"

I ignored his question and asked, "And also, how dare you say that you care? Where has this caring and missing me for the past 3 years been? Up your butthole, that's where. Am I right?"

Well those words didn't come out as I intended them to.

"You're right." Harry stated.

"What?" Louie and I said in usion.

Woops, I almost forgot Louie was here....

"You're right. I didn't show it. I should have, but I didn't. But there had been times where I'd see something and it'd remind me of you, it's true.. But I was blinded. Blinded by the new mesmerizing world around me. It's not an excuse, don't get me wrong.. And I knew I was missing something, I really did. I just didn't realize it until I saw you yesterday." Harry looked down.

I'm shocked. I feel like I'm going to throw up.

Changing this around, I pondered, "How did you find my apartment?"

"I hoped that you still lived in the same one.. Common, it's only been three years." Harry tried to joke.

"Only?" I said softly.

"Oh. Wrong choice of words.. Sorry." Harry winced and apologized.

I didn't know what to say anymore. There's no way I would be able to continue the conversation. It's beyond comprehension.

"Well, it's getting late. I think I'm gonna hit the bed." I said getting up.

After a simple "okay" from Harry, Louie thanked, "Oh and Carly, thanks for er, opening up to him. Well, have a goodnight."

"Night Louie" I said as they left.

I lost the energy. The energy to do anything. So, I stumbled to my room, fell on my bed, and fell asleep in a quarter of a split second.

Heyy everyone. It's been a while since I updated, but I finally did.. Don't know what else to say, but thanks for reading and uhh Mauh ;*