The Law of Attraction

(15)

"We weren't really talking about anything important." I defend with caution, my palms getting slick with sweat.

"Alone in the dark foyer? You weren't talking about anything important?" Sarah's stare scrutinizes my defensive stance with beady little blue eyes, her lips pressed in to pout.

What's got her so riled up?

"He literally had just walked in, there wasn't time to flip on a light. Stop acting so weird. Didn't you say you had to pee?"

Sarah blinks a few times as she seems to process what I say, her eyes almost watering as she remembers that she does is fact really need the toilet.

"Bloody hell, I'd nearly forgotten!" She cries out, her feet instantly scurrying for my bathroom.

"Sorry, Bells. I was just really hoping you were about to jump his bones is all." And with that last bit of humorous banter, Sarah excuses herself to use the restroom.

I throw myself down on my pillow top mattress and splay my arms out as if I was a little girl making snow angels.

A haughty sigh escapes my lips and it takes all of my will power not to scream violently, releasing all of my frustrations from my body like an exorcism.

If Sarah hadn't come over who knows what William and I would be doing right now?

Oh wait, I do.

We would have rushed back to my sheets and quickly released this pent up sexual frustration suffocating us like a cellophane gag. Once wasn't enough, and I feel absolutely foolish for ever thinking that it would be.

It was ignorant of me to make any assumptions while my virginity was still in tact, because I obviously had absolutely no idea what to expect.

Watch as much porn as you like, but it can never prepare you for feelings. It can't prepare you for the butterflies in your rib cage, or the throat choked feeling of being wholly complete, even if just for a moment.

You expect it to feel good, but you don't expect it to leave your heart splayed out on your sleeve afterwards, shamelessly begging the other person to pick it up and keep it.

Sarah re-emerges from my bathroom with her hands crossed over her chest.

"I'm the one who's relationship just ended, so why are you the one looking so down trodden?" She asks, her skeptical glances overwhelming me for one day.

I sigh and sit up, scrunching my nose in annoyance. I have so much I'd like to talk about, but I'm not about to admit to falling for William to Sarah. We're close, but we aren't that close.

"I'm just having guy troubles." I admit. "With Calvin." I lie.

There's no reason I can't change Williams name for Calvin, is there?

Sarah looks shocked, but a mischievous smile spreads across her lips. "That handsome rich boy, right?" She asks me. "From the fancy party you attended?"

I nod my head and wrap my arms around myself defensively. "Yeah, He was pretty great." I say, not necessarily lying.

"If he's great then what is the trouble?" She asks me, and I can't help but feel a strong blush swarm my cheeks.

"Well I just felt that we were getting.. very close, but I haven't really seen him since we had dinner together. I don't think we're meant to work out."

Sarah taps idly on her chin as she looks me over, her face looking completely unimpressed.

"Have you texted him?" She asks me, fishing for more details. I shake my head no, unsure of what else to say.