The Law of Attraction

(17)

I don't expect him to say it back, but I couldn't stop the truth as it spilled off of my tongue.

Williams jaw loosens, and I watch as his eyes dart back and forth between mine. Finally, he lets out a throat choked groan and shakes his head.

"No you don't, Bella," his eyebrows furrow and he scoffs "you just can't."

At first I feel crushed, my heart swelling and suffocating at his response, but then I notice that he isn't arguing.

He's begging. He's back peddling because he knows how silly this is. I know it is too, but I've never felt this way before. I may be like a love sick puppy begging for scraps, but how do I fight against these feelings that are twisting and tangling my heart?

"And if you're wrong?" I argue as I take a step closer to him.

"Then this get much more complicated." Williams usual suave voice has been replaced with a frustrated groan, but I still can't read him.

"Why?" I take another step closer and place my hand square on his firm chest. His heart beat is intense as it pounds against my finger tips, and I can't help but wonder why it feels like it's about to burst.

I look up to lock eyes with William, but his are closed. He swallows hard and lets out a haggard breath. Time seems infinite as I wait for him to answer me.

Without speaking, William suddenly grabs my wrists and pulls me inside his flat, shutting the door in one quick motion and stepping away from me as if our proximity had burned him. He walks a few paces while rubbing the back of his neck.

"Say it again." He finally demands, looking up from his pristine carpeting to finally glance at my face. My mouth feels dry and for the first time since arriving, I'm nervous.

"Say it again, but don't say it unless you mean it, Isabella." William snaps, his body language almost threatening as he squares out his shoulders.

Don't say it unless I mean it? I wouldn't have said it at all unless I did, but if William needs to hear it again then I'll say it until my lungs collapse.

"I love you." I repeat, standing as tall as I can manage. William takes a deep breath and examines me from head to toe, making me feel more naked than if my dress suddenly dissolved.

His stare turns glossy and for several long seconds I can feel my heart pounding in my throat. When his lips finally part to speak and fill the silence, everything shifts.

"I don't think I can love you back."

The phrase is short and sweet. It's to the point and there's no room for misinterpretation as the heavy syllables fall like cynder blocks to the floor.

"But-" William continues, taking a well timed step towards me.

"When I close my eyes I see your smile, and when I go to sleep you're in my dreams. When I think of tomorrow I hope to see you standing there in a cotton dress and your beautiful brown hair pulled out of your face."

My nerves fire all at once as I try to take in his words, my head spinning from their sweet sound and the overpowering scent of Williams after shave.

"I don't think I can love anyone again, Bella, but perhaps if I were to-" William breaks to clear his throat, his eyes darting between mine with fearsome intent "it would be you."

That's enough for me.

I want to say these words but they don't reach my lips. Instead I rush to close the distance between William and I. I wrap my arms around his neck in a swift act of desperation. His strong arms hold me tight as I deeply inhale his familiar scent.