with hair raised and eyes shut
i emerge from an obscene dream
the mourning of it like a fresh wound
we were kissing by a pool
your mouth soaked in your weight in whiskey
i led you down the stairs very carefully
and we sat down on a bench passing my last cigarette
you were mumbling with every breath
i chose you over all logic and sense
but we both still act seventeen
and call it art for whatever reason
i wanted to tell you i love you
but i said "you ruined me" instead
your hair was the same as when we first met
and you still reeked of chocolate and sweat
i miss feeling you near me and hearing you talk shit about philosophy
the dumb indie scene fades when i lay
my head on your shoulder
and wait
for the bus in the rain to take us to the motel you said you knew
dreams are a miserable substitute for you
