Jane Eyre: A Different Prospective

Part 2

Chapter 2

"If you want me to leave so desperately I will but please read this before you decide to completely rub me out off your life" with that he handed me what I believe was a letter "I'm living at a mortage near the station and I'll leave tommorow evening" and with that the door closed behind me.

I can never forgive myself for what I did.

How could I do that to him. I lay near the door inhaling his fading scent. My heart could not bear this new pain.

When I woke up I realized it was already past noon & I was still lying near the door I must've been exhausted by crying. I washed up my face got dressed then I remembered I had to go to town with St. John.

I was putting my books on the shelf when I saw the letter Edward left on the table. I opened expecting to be something wrote to change my mind.

But that was not the scene.

Bertha was dead.

My head started to spin and my body was shaking what had I just read?

The only barrier between Me and Edward was dead. I was not happy if you may think so it was pity. I pitied her life because she didn't deserve anything that happened to her. But I know she was in heaven now and that was a better place.

I got dressed as fast as I could and took off in a carriage that was resting nearby. The carrier could tell I was in haste.

He dropped me somewhere near the lane. But when I asked for the mortgage Edward told me about I realized its far away and I had to walk more for it.

I ran and ran and ran as fast as I could. Till I was out of breath. But I remembered Edward saying he will leave by the evening which was soon to come. The sun was setting as I reached the Mortgage and I made to the reception.

"Is anyone with the name Edward Fairfax Rochester staying in this place?" I asked sweating in a unladylike manner but I didn't care much.

"Yes madam but I'm sorry to inform you Mr. Rochester left just an hour before"

That single sentence crushed me. He left.

he said he would wait but he left. without me.

I can't take so much heartache in a day I'm doing better with St John and my cousins when he comes to my door and kisses me then leaves with a paper. When I come to find him he's gone. without me.

why must he leave me I wasn't too late? why must he torture me like this?

I sobbed sitting infront of the porch making a scene for the visitors. but I didn't care at all. I thought I could live with love again but I was wrong because I was not made for Love. St. John you were right.

I left the mortage and took a carriage home I knew there was no use for search Edward he must have set for London already.

I was so exhausted from the walking and running and mostly sobbing. But this heartache was unbearable I wished to die at this moment. Thinking like this wouldn't help anything so I went up to my door and I noticed my door was open. Who would come at this hour? St John?

I went inside but there was no one

suddenly I heard the noise of water running.

I went to the kitchen to see Edward pouring water in a cup.

What is happening am I sulked in some kind of madness?

He can't be here but before I could think anything else he was walking towards me with the cup

he handed me the cup I took it I drank all in one gulp.

he's real? I tried to touch him but he went back with cup to the counter.

He returned and before I could say anything he kissed me with so much passion I completely forgot what was I going to say.

"I see you went after me?" There goes his famous smirk.

"Why did you leave? and you came here I wasn't late to the mortgage"

"No but you weren't early either so I decided to leave but then I thought if you didn't want to go back with me I couldn't force you so I wanted to say a final goodbye to you so I came here and waited for you"

"Oh Edward you give me misery and happiness at the same time what am I going to do with you?" He laughed anthem kissed me again and hands were around his neck again and I realized at that moment that I want to live a life like this with Edward by my side.

We just sat there with each other in our arms, his hands around my waist and I was listening to his breathing while.

We were so engrossed in feeling the pure bliss we forgot to close the door and I realized it when I saw a figure standing at the door. I don't think Edward noticed because he was caressing my hair.

I jolted up to see it was St. John standing at the door looking us I couldn't see the emotion in his eyes but I know that he was hurt.

"St John I.."

"Jane I didn't expect this from a lady like" His voice was calm but with a hint of anger.

Edward was standing next to me his hands were on my shoulder to support me. I really needed it.

"St. John I can explain"

"You don't have to and as I can clearly see the wedding is not taking place. Hope you have a good life with him. May god forgive you. Goodbye." With that he left me standing their with guilt and shame washing over me.

"He'll be fine don't worry you did nothing wrong" Edward was trying to comfort me but I know what I did was not right either.

I could live happily married with Edward now but I wish I could gain back St John's trust and forgiveness..